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Showing results for tags 'first impressions'.
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb08_Post.mp4 The idea of a fool proof "pick up line" has been around since the dawn of time. But to the extent that they work, it's not because of the face value. It's because they are funny. Which kind of does the opposite. The surface structure meaning is a compliment. Like you want to tell a lady she's beautiful. But if you just walk up and say, "Hey, you're beautiful," a couple of things might happen. One, is she KNOWS she's beautiful and your lame attempt won't do much. Two, is she's not quite sure if she's beautiful. And since random dudes walking up to random ladies is pretty odd, she'll wonder what the deal is. So, these pickup lines can work, but they won't make her feel special. They will make her laugh. That's good, right? Maybe in the short term. Maybe they might get a smile. But what do you do next? If her (or his) first experience of you is walking up and performing, what kind of precedent does that set? On a much deeper level, this strategy isn't very helpful. You see somebody across the room. You look at them and feel attraction. So the impulse is to walk over, and do SOMETHING that makes them feel GOOD because of you. So the natural way to do that is to either give them a compliment, or to perform. Most of the time, it's both wrapped up in one. Give her a compliment wrapped up in some goofy pick up joke. That is a very short term strategy. And it's the same strategy that everybody uses. So AS SOON as you try this, you are going to be put in the SAME CATEGORY of every other goof. This goes WAY beyond meeting people romantically. Anybody whom you want to make a good "impression" on. To say something funny, witty, clever, etc. These are all PERFORMANCE based strategies. Which puts them in JUDGE mode. And you in TALENT mode. Like some goof on American Idol hoping to NOT get kicked off the stage. This is the SAME strategy little kids use. To do SOMETHING to get noticed. Hey! Look at me! I'm more SPECIAL than everybody else! Even a hard core, 100K per year job interview is like. The hiring dude is sorting through all the applicants. And they all have the SAME strategy. Pick Me! Please, Pick Me! This is not a happy way to go through life. Always hoping OTHERS pick you. And who are these others? That's the worst part. These other people that most people hope will PICK THEM are complete strangers! So, what happens when you FLIP the script? To make them, after only a brief bit of conversation, wish YOU would pick them? What would that do for your social life? For your romantic life? For your business life and career? Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/first-impressions/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb04_Post.mp4 Way back in the day, we humans didn't have a lot of extra thinking time. For example, we were hungry, and we had to spend a lot of time getting food. Sometimes days of thinking and planning and scheming. This type of thinking is not like anything most people have experienced today. This was very much a daily, "failure is not an option" situation. You and a bunch of dudes MUST find something big to kill. If you don't, everybody dies. If you do, everybody parties like crazy. A very big positive if you succeed. A very big negative if you lose. These are the conditions under which our brains, our imaginations and our thinking powers were calibrated. To get the things we needed so we WOULDN'T die. Those that did this best, got the BEST rewards. Sex, and the propagation of these genes. Those that didn't do this good enough DIDN'T propagate those genes. Today, life is much easier. At least with respect to getting enough food to not die, and not worrying too much about getting eaten. But we STILL have the same instincts. That's why 2/3's of people are overweight. Food is easy. Way back in the day, food was difficult. So those that could GET food, got sex. The alpha killers. Today, food is as easy as calling up door dash. Only don't get the reward of sex by ordering yourself a burrito. All you get is the burrito. Nobody is going to treat you like a rock star because you successfully convinced a stranger to deliver you a burrito. Our instincts for both SEX and FOOD had to be as strong as possible. Because getting food, and the result sex if you were good enough, was SCARY. Today, everything is mixed up. It's not hard to see that all of our problems today are a result of ancient instincts in the modern world. But lucky for us, we still have our powerful brains. We can STILL strategize. Just like we can use our conscious brain to overrule our instincts to eat healthy and exercise. We can use our conscious brains to come up with a much better strategy to BECOME ATTRACTIVE to others. Back in the day it was easy. Kill a big animal, and Bob's your uncle. Today, it's not so intuitive. But neither is riding a bicycle that doesn't go anywhere. Or lifting a heavy weight over and over again. Similarly, there ARE plenty of non-intuitive ways to create massive attraction. They don't really make any more sense than riding a bike that doesn't go anywhere. But they work just as well. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/first-impressions/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb03_Post.mp4 There are three basic ways to meet people. One, the oldest and likely the most comfortable, through your social network. Friends of friends, etc. This is when you come "pre-screened" or "pre-qualified." You have less of a burden to "sell yourself." Two, is online, which mostly is online dating. This is very difficult, and very dependent on how you can present yourself WITHOUT referencing your personality or communication skills. This is essentially the same structure as job hunting. Your "resume" or "online profile" gets you in the door. Your interpersonal skills do the rest. Most people underestimate how much personality plays in job interviews. Since you are talking to the hiring guy, you've already PROVED your qualifications. But just like online dating, your qualifications, things people can find out about you WITHOUT needing to talk to you, are ONLY to get your foot in the door. Everything else is based on personality. Since we aren't robots, or Vulcans, but rather, self aware, talking monkey people, people NEED to know they can "vibe" with you. If you have the right resume qualifications, knowledge etc., but NOBODY can stand you, nobody will want to hire you. Similarly, if your online dating profile looks FANTASTIC but you have an abrasive, or a relatively plain personality, you won't get past the first meeting. Luckily, ALL of this, except the social circle method, is based on a BACKWARD idea. The idea that THEY are the judge. And you are the person who needs to impress them. Kind of like those "Talent" TV shows, which are very much like the Gong Show way back in the 70's. The structure is EXACTLY the same. Performers come out on stage desperate to get NOTICED. Desperate to break into "show business." Desperate to gain the approval of the audience and the judges. This is exactly how most people behave during job interviews. Guys who strike out with ladies and folks who are desperate for jobs say and think the SAME thing: "Please, give me a chance!" This mindset is desperate and very unattractive. To both relationship seekers and hiring managers. For a job interview, the answer is pretty simple. This goes beyond simple linguistic tricks, but it does involve a reframe. But you have to build up the right mindset for it to work. First, know your value. Have plenty of options. See any job interviews only a POTENTIAL opportunity for a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL relationship. Once you have that mindset squared away, instead of saying: "Please give me a chance," you say the opposite: "Why should I work here?" When it comes to meeting people in general, it's kind of similar but MUCH less aggressive. Much, much friendlier. First, ditch the "please accept me" mindset. And replace it with something much, much easier. Much LESS confrontational. One that will make EVERY interaction, even with strangers, much more positive and memorable. Even better is it will build up a POWERFUL mindset based not on wishing or hoping, but on EVIDENCE. A mindset that says people like you. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/first-impressions/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb02_Post.mp4 One night, a long time ago, I was out with a bunch of friends. We were in some bar, having some drinks. And the conversation, and the language, was what you'd expect. Sex talk, dirty jokes, F-bombs like crazy. Then somebody decided to go get some food. So we stumble down the street to restaurant. And we carried our conversational theme, and our f-bombs with us. And halfway through our conversation, one guys face goes white. Then he starts laughing. We looked around and realized why. Just behind us, was a table with a couple adults and a bunch of kids. And here we were, still talking about sex, blowjobs, and dropping f-bombs like crazy. It was pretty embarrassing to say the least. I don't know if the kids her us, or the adults did, but it FELT like we were breaking some kind of unwritten rule. If you're on a bar, and it's over 21, and everybody's boozing it up, dropping f-bombs is perfectly fine. But in a family restaurant, not so much. We humans tend to self-regulate like this. We "augment" our behavior based on our environment. This modern behavior rides on top of our ancient social programming. To behave in a way that elicits positive responses from people, and avoid negative responses. But like many other instincts, when this rises to the conscious level, it can be difficult. We know what NOT to do to AVOID negative social signals. But what to do to GET positive social signals isn't so easy. Particularly when you realize that in the past, we KNEW what to do, to get those positive social signals, because we were around people that we had known our own lives. All the good behavior, and the bad behavior, was highly calibrated. This is a large component of social anxiety. It's EASY to avoid negative social signals. Wear the same color shirt as the wall, and hope nobody sees you. But what if we WANT to engage socially? What if we WANT positive social responses, but from STRANGERS? Particularly sexy strangers? Strangers we WANT to be friend with? We want to IMPRESS them. Or as the dating folks say, we want to Demonstrate High Value, or DHV. How, specifically, do we do that? That most common answer is to keep trying. That it's a numbers game. To keep taking shots on goal, and hope some of them go in. This CAN work. But it's VERY inefficient. At BEST, and after years of practice, you MIGHT get a 10% success rate. Or or a 90% FAILURE rate. But what if you could REVERSE this? By reversing the strategy, you could reverse the numbers? Meaning that the MAJORITY of people you interacted with would think FONDLY of you? What would THAT do for your confidence? Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/first-impressions/