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Found 13 results

  1. Cialdini laws can be used to explain quite a bit of human behavior. They are essentially instincts that regulate our social behavior. William James, a philosopher and metaphysician from about a hundred years ago, said that humans have both a ton of learning capacity and a ton of instincts. Every other animal has mostly instincts. We have tons of learning because our brains are still forming for the first couple decades of our lives. Which means our instincts are more or less programmable. We need food, but we can choose a whole bunch of different food. We need sex, but we all have a different idea of an idea sexual partner. We crave social recognition, but how this happens is different for all of us. As far as our social lives, we have positive and negative social instincts. Just like we have positive and negative hunger instincts. The negative hunger instinct is that the longer we go without eating, the more uncomfortable we get. The positive hunter instinct is that it feels VERY GOOD to eat something delicious. The negative hunger instincts drive us away from starvation, the positive hunger instincts kind of reward is when we get food. Similarly, our social instincts have positive and negative levels. We are "rewarded" for helpful "tribal behavior" with positive authority validation and positive social validation. We are "punished" for unhelpful "tribal behavior" with negative authority validation and negative social validation. In an ancient society, this worked perfectly. But just like our hunger is troublesome today, so are these combinations of social instincts. Unfortunately, they are the source of plenty of human misery. And it happens in a very powerful way that creates a very strong cause-effect relationship. Since it happens when we are very young, it's kind of built in as an instinct. That's what happens when we are born with "less than defined" instincts. How, exactly, does this happen? Suppose you've got a kid in kindergarten or first grade. He has a desire to express himself. But the teacher doesn't agree. So the teacher yells at the kid. What is the result? This kid develops a casual link between the DESIRE to express oneself in public with NEGATIVE social and authority validation. If this happens a lot, it can cause trouble. This is EXACTLY why so many people have social anxiety as adults. We feel a desire to express ourselves. We START to express ourselves, but then that deep link is triggered. The one that reminds us that expressing our desires in public will lead to negative social and authority attention. This is why ANYTHING we want that involves social behavior creates a lot of anxiety. But there IS a pretty straightforward way to REMOVE this link. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  2. https://mindpersuasion.com/cement-mixer-fantasies/
  3. https://mindpersuasion.com/fear-of-abandonment/
  4. Economics is called the dismal science for a lot of reasons. One is because it's pretty boring. But another deeper reason is it FORCES us to face the harsh realities. And since this is something we humans like to do as little as possible, it's called the dismal science. It FORCES us to think NOT in the abstract. Of realizing what things costs. Both in direct costs (what we need to pay or do to get things) and in opportunity costs (the things we CAN'T get). One of the reasons we have wishes instead of goals is that goals require understanding EXACTLY what it will take to GET your goals. Like NOT doing what you've been doing. And spending a lot of time doing UNCOMFORTABLE things. Like exercising, or saving money, or anything that involves delayed gratification. Wishes, on the other hand, are always out in the vague future. Where we can sit around and hope for some kind of MAGIC to happen. But as soon as we realize the TRUTH about what it will actually take to GET our goals, they suddenly don't seem to desirable anymore. Another thing we humans HATE is any kind of risk. We would all love to be told EXACTLY what to do. Step by step process. But one of the ideas buried in economics is the idea of supply and demand. The MORE of something that there is (increase in supply) the LESS valuable it is going to be. And if there actually WAS a simple, step by step system to do ANYTHING, then ANYBODY could do it. And doing that thing (whatever it was) wouldn't be worth very much. So here we are. Stuck in reality. And the things that are WORTH getting are either going to be DIFFICULT (like exercising and not eating as much as you want EVERY DAY), or uncertain. Uncertainty means you HAVE to take risks, and LEARN from mistakes. Learning from books won't work, since EVERYBODY can learn from books. But learning from TRIAL AND ERROR is terrifying. So few people can do it. But if you WANT to get what few people get, then you'll have to do what few people can do. Namely, the difficult things, and the risky things. Luckily, we ALL have that instinct buried deep within us. It won't make it easy. But doing the NOT EASY stuff is what humans are made of. It's why WE conquered the planet, and not penguins. Or kangaroos. But most of us have been brainwashed into thinking all we modern people need to do is sit back and wait for ours. That's easy. Everybody can do that. Do what few people can do. Explore your life. Conquer your fears. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/hero/
  5. There's a very powerful scene at the end of the movie, "Unforgiven." It's when the bad guy is about to kill the sheriff. And the sheriff says, "I don't deserve to die like this." And just before the bad guy shoots him, he says, "Deserving's got nothing to do with it." There are a lot of ways to interpret that scene, as well as the movie. Since it starred Clint Eastwood, who is nearly always a good guy, it's hard to see him as the bad guy. But according to Eastwood, who also directed, the movie was about how violence just destroys everything in its path. Sometimes with no rhyme or reason. With most hero movies, the good guys win in the end. But the question is always in the back of our minds. Since in real life, the good guys don't always win, and the bad guys never seem to get in trouble. Especially the bad guys that run the world. George Carlin frequently talked about this. He would say things like, "It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." Whenever we watch movies and enjoy stories, there's always an uncertain relationship between the story and real life. Is the story trying change the way we behave? Are stories written based on how we wish we could behave? Many people see certain ideas in certain movies, and get upset because of the not so secret "agenda" of the movie makers. But here's the thing. Stories have been told since before recorded history. Even old myths and biblical stories were once ONLY in the "oral tradition." Meaning they were word of mouth stories LONG before anybody ever wrote them down. And there are surprising similarities between stories from thousands of years ago, and stories today. Even blockbuster movies. This should be a clue. A clue WHY we love these types of movies and stories so much. That just MAYBE, they aren't only for entertainment. That MAYBE, they are supposed to motivate us. Inspire us. Get us to get out there and stop wasting our lives. To wake up, and start to take responsibility. To BE the hero of our own lives. How do you BE the hero? Consider that your mission. To find your own destiny. Identify the bad guys, and conquer them. Not just the ones OUT THERE, but the ones IN HERE. The demons within, and the demons without. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/hero/
  6. Plenty of experiments have demonstrated human hierarchy. The simplest is when they stick ten people in a room. Then they drop in an complicated task. Within minutes, and usually without much discussion, there is a hierarchy. We humans seem to have a very instinctive way of looking around and quickly, democratically and subconsciously figuring out who's in charge. This means a lot of things. One of them is that ninety percent of people, (or more depending on the size of the group) have a "go to" strategy when uncertain about what to do. And that strategy is to look around for somebody in charge. Most humans, in most situations, when presented with uncertainty, DO NOT look at the task and think, "Hmm, how should I handle this?" Instead most humans look around for somebody to TELL THEM what to do. This comes across different ways in different situations. In social situations, it comes across as people WANTING to meet new people but HOPING the other person will do the initiating. Most people would be open to a friendly chat with an interesting stranger. But VERY FEW people will do the initiating. There are many ways to respond to this information. One is to be the one making the approach. If this is easy, this CAN BE a reasonable strategy. But it kind of sets a bad precedent. Meaning if a friendship or other relationship is formed, YOU (since you did the approaching) are the leader. For many people, this is fine. But there is another way. Humans tend to look for leaders because we are nervous and don't like uncertainty. But what if there was a way to REMOVE their nervousness and uncertainty AT A DISTANCE? See, in those experiments, where they put people in rooms, there's another part. They take a bunch of rooms and do the same thing. Each room has a leader. But then they put each leader in a room, and the SAME THING happens. Ninety percent of leaders become followers. Which means very FEW people are consistently leaders. Which means even leaders have the "go to" response of looking around and seeing if there's anybody in charge. Only when they find out that people are looking at them, do they become leaders by default. Since in other situations, they are JUST AS WILLING to become followers. This means there's a missing ingredient. That missing ingredient that can remove fear and anxiety at a distance. To make it natural and easy for others to approach you. Without assuming any kind of leadership. This is the power of presence. To be absolutely congruent in mind. To radiate calmness and certainty. This is extremely rare, but it can be built with practice. Specific practice that must be done consistently, but privately. And just like any skill, the longer you practice, the stronger it becomes. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/presence/
  7. Human fears are an insanely useful thing. But only if we use them correctly. The "incorrect" use of fear is not dealing with it. A long time ago, I used to be a big fan of Stephen King. The movie, "Creepshow," which came out in the 80's, was about a bunch of short stories. He played one of the goofy characters. He was a hillbilly type who found a meteor. He picked it up, and it oozed meteor juice all over him. Since it was a comedy-horror movie, the meteor juice immediately started to mutate his arm. He thought about going to the doctor, but was stopped by his worst-feared scenario. His worst feared scenario was the doctor holding a huge knife and with a wicked grin saying, "This is going to be EXTREMELY painful!" Of course, the hillbilly didn't go to the doctor, and the meteor juice ended up mutating his entire body, eventually killing him. This is the "incorrect" use of fear. To imagine the worst case scenario, assuming it's going to happen, and not doing squat. What is the "correct" use of fear? Our worst feared outcomes are IDEAL planning tools. Most people have heard (at least a billion times) the idea of "planning for the worst while hoping for the best." Our brains are FANTASTIC in perfectly delivering to us a "worst feared" outcome. We are SUPPOSED to be afraid of those. They are SUPPOSED to be horrifying. But they aren't supposed to make us hide out in the closet while getting eaten by meteor juice. They are supposed to be used as planning tools. Things to PREVENT against. It's like our brain is saying, "HEY! Make sure this doesn't happen!" Only for most people, the only way to "make sure this doesn't happen" is to not do anything. That is a strategy, but it's a pretty useless one. Because once you HAVE that worst feared outcome, you can plan all kinds of ways around it. Especially if those worst feared outcomes come in the form of social situations. Even more so if those worst feared outcomes come in the form of other people saying things. Because once we've got our worst feared outcome in the form of somebody SAYING something, there are plenty of ways to make sure it doesn't happen. Eighteen ways, to be precise. This means ANY social fear you can imagine, you can destroy it in EIGHTEEN different ways. Making sure it DOESN'T happen. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  8. Human fears are part of a very useful system. Unfortunately, like most of our instincts, they aren't so helpful anymore. Hunger is the easiest to understand. Way back in the day, always being hungry was a survival benefit. Not just being hungry. But eating as much as you could. We all have the experience of not thinking we're hungry, but then we take a couple of bites of something and then we can't stop. This is easy to understand from an instinctive standpoint. Whenever food was available, it made sense to eat as much as possible, so we could store the extra energy. This happened without us having to think about it. So when you don't really feel hungry, and you take a bite, your "energy storage system" sends a signal that makes us store as much energy as possible. Of course, this system was calibrated when food was very hard to get. Now it's everywhere. And most people are overweight as a result of ancient instincts being surrounded by an abundance of food. Another useful instinct is fear. A modern "truism" is "most of my fears never happen." Most people tend to think of this as silly humans being afraid of things that don't exist. But in reality, being OVER-AFRAID was also a very useful survival trait. Way back in the days of hunter gathers, being afraid and running away, even if there was only a ten percent chance of the fear being real, was very useful. Because all it takes is to be wrong once, get eaten, and you won't live long enough to pass on your genes. Consequently, the people who passed on their genes were the ones who ran away from POTENTIAL danger the quickest. Unfortunately, just like our hunger instinct, our environment is VERY DIFFERENT than it was long ago. Most fears today are social fears. They are much more complicated. Back then, we saw something yellow moving, and figured it could be a tiger. Most of the time, it was a yellow flower, or something else. But the fear response to REAL physical threats was very quick. Since modern fear responses are usually in social situations (any time when we imagine talking to somebody) they take a while to build up. This means that social fears are the EASIEST to re-wire. Because the opposite of social fear is social success. This means love, money, sex, and plenty of other good stuff. In the moment, all we can imagine is the bad stuff. But once you rewire just a few of those social fears, you'll start to automatically imagine the good stuff. Which will not just eradicate the fears, but make you feel the opposite. Meaning when you imagine any potential social interaction, you'll feel POSITIVELY compelled to take advantage of it. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  9. The world is in a strange place. Only a hundred years or so ago, it was perfectly fine to just show up. You did what you were told, and you'd have a job and family. Today, there is very little structure to anything. Everybody does whatever they want. There doesn't seem to be any rules. This is both good and bad. Good because you can get away with a lot of stuff that you couldn't get away with a hundred years or so ago. Bad because there are few external incentives keeping people on track. With the right external incentives, normally hard stuff can be easy. If you joined boot camp, for example, getting up at the crack of dawn would be easy. All alone (with only internal incentives) it's very hard. But if you CAN come up with your own internal incentives, and live by them, you can create ANYTHING you want. This is the double edge sword of modern life. You can do a lot of stuff. But nobody is forcing you. So it's very easy to slack off and take it easy. And once you start doing that, it's a hard rut to get out of. Luckily, you can start very slow. The myth of motivation is that you need a TON from the start. People think of the word "motivation" and they think of some guy leaping out of bed and going on a ten mile run in the morning. That works for a couple days. A much better and easier way is to start VERY SLOW. Do one small thing toward your goal or habit. Then do that one small thing until that one small thing becomes a habit. Then do another small thing on top of it. Slow, steady, consistent growth is much easier that super power motivation. Because slow, steady, growth adds up over time. What "small thing" should you try? Mental exercises are the easiest. Do them for five minutes. Same time every day. Once you learn to control your thinking, you can control everything. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/nlp/
  10. I used to be heavily into cycling. I would ride from my then house to the beach and back a couple times a week after work. And then long rides on the weekend. On an average week I'd ride a 150 miles or so. This was back before Amazon took over the world. There was this huge bike shop I'd go to at least once a week. Look through all the catalogues, chat with the workers. One thing I loved doing was riding hills. I loved going up, and I loved going down. There was one hill that was perfect. A long winding climb on one side, and a gradual LONG downhill on the other. The most important part was the downhill had zero cross streets. The first light was about half a mile after it had flattened out. Plenty of time to stop. My record was a hair over 54 miles an hour, coasting downhill. The guy in the bike shop HATED hills. He siad he would ride MILES out of his way to avoid a hill. Me, on the other hand, actively sought hills. Some people will do anything to avoid discomfort. Many people will spend tens of thousands of dollars on a college education. The idea is EXTREMELY compelling. You go to a special place of learning, and the ideas get implanted into your mind. A lot of NLP seminars are the same. People spend tons of money to have skills and strategies INSTALLED. Unfortunately, learning requires our participation. Even the word "education" is based on the idea of "drawing out." But many people treat any kind of education is as something being passively PUT IN to their minds. And just like the guy in the bike shop, they are going WAY out of their way to avoid doing real learning. Real learning comes from doing boring daily drills. Playing the piano at parties is fun, especially if it makes you popular. But you can't do that unless you do the drills that will get you the skills. Nobody would imagine going to a "Piano Academy" and having the skills unconsciously installed. The most important skills you can learn are language skills. And since so few people are even aware that you CAN improve them (let do the work required) taking the time to improve YOUR language skills will make you an EXTREMELY valuable person. To a LOT of people. They won't even need to know why. They'll just know your command of language is POWERFUL. Learn How: Weaponized Hypnosis
  11. There's a cool movie, loosely based on a true story, about a basketball coach. Successful guy (played by Samuel L. Jackson) takes over an inner city high school basketball team. And like most of these movies, he shows them not just how to be good basketball players, but to be good humans. Part of this process was while they were practicing, he'd get up close in their faces and ask, "What is your biggest fear?" Most of the time they didn't know what he was talking about. When one of the main turning points of the movie happened (the high school misfits all decided to be good students) they "answer" was revealed. The answer isn't really important (in the movie they lifted a quote from "A Course in Miracles"). But that question (what is your biggest fear) is ALWAYS on our mind. Why is it a question about our biggest fear and not the fear itself? Because our ego is very squirrely and clever. "It" is terrified that we may FIND our biggest fear, and then fix it. So it keeps our biggest fear well hidden. So while we always have a vague sense of anxiety in a lot of situations, we rarely know WHY. We just know that in some situations we feel a bit uneasy. Since we are biological organisms in a physical world, it doesn't help to give metaphysical meaning to this if we want to FIX IT. (That quote from the "Course in Miracles" sounds pretty cool, but what the heck do you do with it?) Imagine a bunch of cavemen out wandering through the jungle. Their subconscious instincts were ALWAYS on high alert. Scanning the area for danger. So when there was MORE chance of danger than food or safety, their subconscious took all that data (that indicated danger MIGHT be close) and translated it into an uneasy feeling that said, "get the heck out of here." This was all based on probability, not certainty. Those that were MORE SCARED in MORE SITUATIONS tended to get out in time when there actually WAS a tiger behind the bushes. So here we are today, with those same instincts. Only most of our fears are social fears. In some social situations, we feel uneasy, anxious, etc. Our ego (collection of protective social instincts) is telling us to get the heck out. Of course, this warning signal is absolutely false. So, how do we get rid of those uneasy feelings in some situations? One way is to FACE OUR FEARS and prove they aren't true. This takes a lot of courage, and a lot of persistence. Luckily, there's an easier way. By understanding the structure, we can slowly dismantle any social fear. Without ever taking more risk than we're comfortable. And soon, all social fear will be a thing of the past. Learn How: Stop Manipulation
  12. Ten exercises to destroy it and replace it with a much more positive idea, that attractive people are safe and fun to talk to. https://mindpersuasion.com/ten-easy-exercises-to-obliterate-approach-anxiety/
  13. Hi George could you make a subliminal for agoraphobia or fear of leaving the house? Its an irrational fear but It would really help. Thank you.
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