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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept26Post.mp4 One of the hardest things to do as a human is to be responsible. The easiest thing to do in modern times is to find a reason, outside of yourself, for why you can't get what you want. Plenty of modern movements are centered around this common idea. It works like this. You've got somebody who wants something, but can't get. The first step is to externalize the problem. Something that worked fantastically in our ancient past. You throw a spear at an animal, and you miss. It's GOOD to get angry at the animal, rather than yourself. That angry makes you WANT to kill that mother-effer much more. So you do. Today, that has the opposite effect. Like most of our ancient instincts. Especially if what you want comes from other people. Getting mad at animals so you'll be more motivated to KILL THEM is fantastic. Getting mad at PEOPLE is not fantastic. But that's the instinct. So our hero has NOT gotten what he wanted, and his natural instinct is to EXTERNALIZE the problem onto others. The next step is to find other people who have SIMILAR issues. Now that externalized problem has SOCIAL PROOF. They get together once a week to complain about this issue. Now this problem has SOCIAL PROOF and COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY. Two very powerful Cialdini laws. The group gets big enough and some guy writes a book about it. Has a popular YouTube channel with a couple hundred thousand subscribers. Maybe he even goes on TV. Now this problem, that has been externalized, has THREE Cialdini laws of influence. Social proof, commitment and consistency, and AUTHORITY. Once it gets to this level, it is INSANELY hard to detach from this. Now for the money question: You have TWO choices. Choice one is to stay safely in this "tribe." A tribe that offers three very COMPELLING and POSITIVE instinctive feelings. Social proof, authority and commitment and consistency. But the COST of this is you will NEVER get that original THING that you wanted. What's the other choice? To break free of the tribe. To think for yourself. To MAYBE improve yourself enough to actually GET that thing. What's the "thing"? It could be ANYTHING related to other people. Sex, relationship, money, business, etc. In case you hadn't noticed, both benefits have associated costs. All benefits have associated costs. The first situation has IMMEDIATE benefits. Social proof, authority, and commitment and consistency. But LONG TERM costs. Not getting the thing you want. The second choice has short term costs. Ditching all those positive feelings of the group. The benefits, are long term. One is easy. One is not. One leads to actual success. One does not. Which will you choose? Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/seven-rules/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept15Post.mp4 Humans tend to externalize quite a bit. It's a very useful instinct. Imagine an ancient dude is out hunting. He tosses his spear at a animal and misses. If he got angry or upset at himself, that would NOT be very effective. Externalizing, on the other hand, would be very effective. Getting mad at the animal. This would cause anger. Anger would create more energy and motivation. This worked perfectly back in the day. When it was US vs. our environment. US were the people we lived with. The people we grew up with. Our environment was other animals. Other tribes. Or forces of nature that were treated like people. The gods of the sky, etc. Today, our instincts are flip flopped. Hunger is the easiest to understand. Back then, the rule was simple. Eat whatever tastes good. Eat as much as you can. Eating as much as you can was necessary because food was hard to find. Eating whatever tasted good was necessary, since there was a high correlation between good tasting food and healthy food. Tree bark, dirt, etc., didn't taste good and it wasn't healthy. Fresh meat tasted good and it was healthy. So were vegetables, fruits, some plants. Today, if we BLINDLY follow our hunger instincts, we'll get metabolic syndrome. Obesity, stress, high cholesterol, high blood pressure. We have to use our conscious minds to regulate our hunger instinct. Our externalizing instinct is also similarly messed. Back then, our environment was stuff that we needed to kill, or was trying to kill us. Today, our environment is other people. Back then, trying to kill an animal and getting mad at the animal was very useful. Today, trying to interact with other people, and getting mad at them if we don't, is NOT a useful strategy. Luckily, we can use our conscious minds to understand, tame and regulate our social instincts. Turns out this is MUCH EASIER than regulating our hunger instinct. Hunger is life or death. Social instincts are not. Which means when you figure out HOW to regulate and manage both your social instinct and your externalizing instinct, social interactions are MUCH easier. Which social interactions? All of them. Friends, lovers and everything in between. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/love-instict/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept09Post.mp4 What does it mean to put the cart before the horse? Normally horses pull carts. Horses have a lot of strength. Which is why horsepower is a unit of power. Power is energy per time. A cart, on the other hand, can only hold stuff. It can't do anything. So putting the cart before the horse means to get things backwards. Or to misunderstand which part is doing the work. And which part is being effected by the work. Another similar metaphor from self help is "the wake doesn't drive the boat." Boats move under their own power. The wake is behind the boat. A passive effect. This is normally used to talk about how our past doesn't drive our future. Our past is an effect of our past actions. Another similar metaphor is driving by looking in the rear view mirror. Instead of looking ahead, we sometimes look behind. Of course, if you're actually driving, and this isn't a metaphor, you'll crash. Crashing comes when not looking where you are going. All these metaphors are based on misunderstanding cause and effect. This is pretty common for humans. We see cause effect everywhere when it doesn't exist. Which means we mostly misunderstand pretty much everything. The most complicated interactions are emotional. Especially when other people do and say things, and we don't know why. We wonder what they want. We wonder why they did or didn't do what they did. If you aren't careful, we can start to project. We might imagine something bad that happened to us before. And since we FEAR those things happening again, we'll tend to see them when they don't exist. Which can actually CREATE those things. This is hard to see from inside your brain. Human emotional interactions are very complicated. Very easy to misunderstand. Even couples who have been together for a long time have a hard time communicating. However, all humans are driven by our deep instincts. Even if we don't want to acknowledge them. But if you take the time to understand what these instincts are, understanding complex human behavior is much easier. Turns out things are much simpler that we imagine. Because most of the time we are projecting. Which means most of the time we are reading MUCH MORE into a situation that is actually happening. Take a step back and see what makes people tick. You'll be able to predict actions. You'll be able to read emotions. You'll be able to create the relationships you want. And avoid the ones you don't. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/love-instinct/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug24Post.mp4 Externalizing is a very common human trait. It's when WE have a problem. But we don't want to admit it. So we imagine the problems is OUT THERE. It works metaphorically like a semi-permeable membrane. The kind around our cells that only lets good stuff in. And keeps out the bad stuff. Every aspect of our mind-body system was put there for a reason. Unfortunately, a lot of it is outdated. Like government computer systems. The problem is when use our natural defense systems too much. Externalizing is a powerful and necessary way to protect our ego. Way back in the day, when life was very dangerous and difficult, having a weak ego was DEADLY. It was always go-time. But today, life is MUCH more complicated. Back in the day, it was us, our buddies and our environment. Back in the day, our environment was the natural world. Trees, rocks, unexpected thunderstorms, animals, both predator and prey. Simple. Kill or be killed. Today, it's not so simple. In fact, it's WAY complicated. In the old days you either KILLED something in the environment, literally. Or that thing KILLED you. Literally. Today our environment is OTHER PEOPLE. Nobody is going to kill us. And we aren't going to kill anybody. Unfortunately, many of our programs haven't quite caught up. So our instincts need re-calibrating. So does our natural learner. Our natural learn KNOWS that takes plenty of practice to get something down. Music, sports, etc. But our natural learner doesn't quite see this with social situations. Our natural learner sees social situations as a kill or be killed type of thing. Which is why EVERYBODY is intimidated in social situations. Some a little. Some a lot. But unless you can turn down the natural anxiety to workable levels, you'll stay on the sidelines. And keep telling yourself the problem is OUT THERE. So long as you believe the problem is OUT THERE, you'll never feel comfortable. But once you accept that at least part of the problem is INSIDE, then you can fix it. Re-calibrate it. Get in the game and start learning some skills. But, won't that be terrifying? Nope. Re-calibrating your social instincts is actually pretty BORING. Like studying history, when you'd rather be playing video games. But if you do a few minutes a day, you'll eventually reach a tipping point. When getting in the game is FUN. Like it should be. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/