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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Mar23Post.mp4 Dale Carnegie said the easiest way to become interesting TO others is to be interested IN others. This, of course, is one of those truism that needs some explaining. First of all, we would all LOVE for the "right people" to be interested in us. Gorgeous people, rich people, Hollywood producers, Venture Capitalists, etc. Nobody would like being followed around by a bunch of drunken homeless people because they found you so interesting. Another thing we'll need to figure out is HOW, specifically do we show our interest. For example, suppose you've got your eye on a cutie across the room. Do you walk up and say: "Hi, I think you're very interesting," and wait for the fireworks? That might work as a decent ice breaker, but unless there was already enough pre-existing attraction, that would seem a bit creepy. A "goofy" pick up line is to walk up to a gorgeous girl and say: "I know you're gorgeous. But I'm wondering if you are just as gorgeous on the inside as you are on the outside..." This MIGHT work, but only if she is showing you OBVIOUS signs of attraction. If she hasn't, she'll reply to that above statement with: "Um, who are you?" Does this mean that showing interest doesn't work? Nope. Showing interest works like MAGIC. But only if you put in the right effort. Anybody can express some easy sentiments. Suppose you had a friend who was struggling with their math homework. And you said something EASY like: "Keep at it, you'll figure it out." Sure, this has the right intention. But that statement doesn't COST you anything. It's very EASY to say. So the most likely response you'd get would be: "Uh, yea, thanks...whatever..." On the other hand, suppose you STOPPED what you were doing and actually HELPED THEM. Showed them some of your math tricks and techniques. Made sure they understood it. That would be the same sentiment, but it would be backed by action. Anybody can walk up to an attractive person and say they are interested. Anybody can PRETEND they are interested in the person on the inside just as much as the person on the outside. But few people know HOW to ask the right questions, in the right order, that actually DEMONSTRATE keen interest. Questions about themselves they've NEVER been asked before. Even better, is to ask them questions that don't require THEY do any thinking. No feeling on the spot. No forcing them to share anything they don't want to. This will do THREE powerful things at once. One, it will demonstrate you REALLY ARE interested in the REAL them. Two, is it will be very easy and enjoyable for them. Three is they will find out things about themselves they've never even THOUGHT about before. This means that YOU will stand out in their mind. In a wonderful way that is different from everybody they've ever talked to. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
People who follow Dale Carnegie's advice run into a common problem. Dale Carnegie was the guy who wrote "How To Win Friends and Influence People." He also had a HUGE public speaking business back in the day. If you want ONE simple practice that can improve many unexpected areas, public speaking is it. Back in the day, he had rooms CRAMMED with people. This was during the depression, when jobs were scarce. And people were willing to do anything to improve their "personal marketability." But it was also a time when self-improvement was popular. Anyhow, the way the speeches would go is you ONLY had two minutes. And when your two minutes was UP, some guy in the back screamed, "TIME!" and off you went. This FORCED people to come up with a tight and very persuasive speech. And deliver it effectively KNOWING the clock was ticking. This forced people to think much more effectively. Not rambling along in tangent after tangent. Watch some YouTube vids of popular youtubers, and that's pretty much how people roll these days. They ramble on and on without ever making a point. But one common problem people have with Carnegie's teaching is with the simple idea of "You can become interesting TO other people so long as you become interesting IN other people." On the surface this sounds true. But then people go out and try it. And they find that most people are pretty boring. But it's not really that other people are boring, it's that the listener is LAZY. When people "try" and "be interested" in the other person, they imagine the other person doing all the work. Like all you need to do is ask somebody a few simple questions, and then stand back and magically "become interested." That would be like eating vegetables and then spitting them out because they don't taste like chocolate. Eating and enjoying chocolate doesn't take ANY skill. Nor does listening to an interesting person. Anybody can do that. The real skill is learning HOW to become INTERESTED IN nearly anybody you meet. Just like healthy food is an acquired taste, it takes time. But if you WERE to take the time to re-acquire your NATURAL affinity for healthy food, all the processed sugary crap would taste horrid. And once you learn how to become interested in NORMAL people, the stuff that passes for "interesting" (to normal, low attention span folks) will seem horrid as well. Make no mistake, this is a SKILL. And skills take practice. Practicing skills is not fun. But you WILL develop a skill that VERY FEW people have. Which will make you INTERESTING to a great many people. And not because you're running around doing tricks. But because you are TRULY interested IN others. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/presence/
When I was a kid I was in boy scouts. We did a lot of camping, which was pretty fun. Once we camped at a state beach. Had a big bonfire at night. There was this new kid that was overly worried about fitting in. At one point, he was promising to buy people things if we'd be his friend. Even as a kid that felt kind of weird to hear somebody beg for friendship like that. They say if you want to make friends, you have to "be a friend." Sounds kind of good, but what does that mean EXACTLY? Obviously that boy scout kid thought it meant buying people stuff. Making friends is tough. The reason we like our friends is we don't have to BE a certain way. We can just hang out and do whatever. Not like eating dinner at your girlfriend's parent's house, (for the first time) where you have to be ultra careful about what you say. Dale Carnegie taught that being genuinely interested in other people is the path to friendship. Again, a decent sounding piece of advice, but how EXACTLY do you "become interested" in somebody, or even something? If we humans could just flip a "be interested" switch in our brains, school wouldn't suck so bad. We'd find some old lady talking about the rules of grammar the most fascinating thing on Earth! You could even flip on your "become interested" switch and have fun staring at a wall! Think of they money you'd save! Seriously, though, Carnegie was onto something. Most people ARE interesting, at least if you give them have a chance. But if you walk up to a stranger and demand they start telling you some interesting stories, it might not work out so well. What's a better way? To dig for treasure. Make it a point to FIND interesting things about them. Here's a secret of people. Most people will become animated, enthusiastic and INTERESTING when they start talking about the things they are really passionate about. How do you find out? Ask them! Ask them what they want. Ask them about their ideal situation with regards to what they want. And as you start to find them more interesting, something interesting will happen. They'll see YOU differently than everybody else. They'll see YOU as much more interesting than everybody else. Everybody else usually talks about themselves. Their own wants. Their own opinions. So when you start talking about them, the THEIR wants, not only will they become animated, but you'll make a quick friend who will never forget you. Learn How: Click Here To Learn How