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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July28Post.mp4 Imagine you had a conversation with a boxer. A guy who was about to have the fight of his career. Imagine the fight was going to start in a couple of hours. And suppose you asked his strategy was. What do you imagine he might say? I suppose that would depend on the other fighter in this particular metaphor. And it would depend on the hero of this metaphor. We can assume the fighting style of the hero. We can assume the fighting style of the opponent. This might give us a better imagination how he might answer that question. But even then it would only be a general strategy. If you asked him what specific punches he planned on throwing, and in what particular order, he'd look at you funny. Clearly, that would depend on what the other guy was doing. Once upon a time there was a guy named Lorenz. He came up with mind experiment to help predict weather patterns. A beaker of water, with four variables. Only four. But each variable was dependent on the other three. Change one and you change the other three. But each time you changed any of the other three, you would then change the OTHER other three. They found that by changing the starting conditions only slightly, the system would be WAY different only a few minutes out. This is the foundation of CHAOS THEORY. Even know they KNOW the starting conditions. Even know they KNOW the laws of chemistry and physics. They still CANNOT predict complex systems very far out. Now imagine two people standing across a room. Flirting with one another. Eye contact, smiles, etc. Open posture. But the guy never walks over and starts the conversation. The excuse he gives himself is common. "I don't know what to say." But this is also a complete and absolute myth. That would be like a boxer being afraid to fight because he doesn't know what PUNCHES to throw. But since the guy in this metaphor is a HUMAN, and has plenty of time speaking to OTHER HUMANS, he knows what to say based on unfolding conditions. In reality, that excuse, "I don't know what to say," is a self defensive, self deception. To avoid social exposure. To avoid rejection. Two very PAINFUL things. But that's by looking only at the surface. Of worrying about what they might say, and then worrying about how you might reply. When you focus on the deeper instincts, it is MUCH EASIER. Because the deeper instincts are MUCH easier to lead. To leverage. Making all communication and persuasion VERY easy. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instint-persuasion/
One of the biggest stumbling blocks to starting a conversation is knowing what to say. You see somebody across the room. You smile, they smile. You flirt, the flirt. But then the thought of walking across the room and starting a conversation keeps you stuck. What would you say? Or you're in line somewhere. Maybe somebody is cute in front or in back of you. You or they glance around, your eyes meet, and you give each other the universal "What's up" nod. But then the same problem pops up. What do you say? You may even go online in search of "conversation starters." There is certainly no end of examples. But before you practice for hours in front of a mirror, consider this. Humans have been anatomically "humans" for about a hundred thousand years. Before that, we weren't yet humans. But we still communicated with each other perfectly. When they study chimps, even though chimps don't talk to each other, they have an EXTREMELY complicated social structure. So, what does this mean? Instead of coming up with a witty conversation starter, you should give people bananas? Not really, although that would be better than nothing. (Hey. You're cute. Here's a banana...) The point is the WORDS you say are not nearly as important as how you say them. And the first words you exchange with anybody only serve ONE function. To shift you from NOT being in a conversation, to BEING in a conversation. So make it as EASY on THEM as possible. It's tempting to try and say something clever, to impress them. But always remember you want to make it as EASY on them as possible. After all, the first words back and forth are really only so you can VIBE with your energy. If you words are too complex, both of you will be too nervous to do that. And for the first couple of minutes, all you really need to do is say some VERY simple things. Once they are comfortable with you, then you can start asking some easy to answer questions. How they answer will give you MUCH MORE insight into any memorized lines. Even when you are hanging out with close friends, the underlying ENERGY of the conversation is much more important the words. In fact, unless you are landing a jet via radio instructions, or listening to instructions on how to de-fuse a bomb, most of the time the words are IRRELEVANT. Focus on the underlying energy instead, and everything will be much easier. There are plenty of exercises to show you how. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/party-hero/
Most practice is easy, but boring. This is the main reason why few people do it. It's also why Napoleon Hill suggested having a "burning desire" was necessary. If you had a passive interest in learning the piano, for example, that passive interest wouldn't enough. You'd give up (like many people) rather quickly. Before you started practicing, it might seem pretty cool when you imagine being able to PLAY the piano. But the more you practiced, the more the REAL COSTS of being able to play would add up. When you imagine being able to play, you don't really have an accurate idea of what having that skill would cost. Both the direct costs (the daily boring practice) and the opportunity costs (the stuff you were missing out on). But if you had a BURNING DESIRE to play, that would take you through. For example, imagine if somebody gave you a very complicated piece of sheet music, and told you if you could play it perfectly, from memory, within a year, he'd give you a billion dollars. Most people would be pretty motivated to practice every day. So they could get the billion dollars. With regular skills, you can BUILD UP the burning desire by taking time to IMAGINE all the good things that will come when you get the skills. You need to do this, or else the costs will outweigh the benefits. So long as you take the time to BUILD the benefits to BURNING DESIRE level, you'll be OK. But this ONLY works with non-social skills. Why? Because social skills introduce another idea into the mix. Namely, social anxiety. So not only do you need to practice, but the practice itself is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE for most people. It creates a TON of anxiety for most people. And when your brain is feeling anxiety (rather than boredom) it's very hard to learn ANYTHING. This is why practicing social skills, compared to practicing music or sports, is something few people ever think of. But guess what? There are some aspects of social skills that you can practice AT HOME. And practicing these ARE boring. So you'll learn them much quicker. And there is a huge BENEFIT to doing this. Because practicing these skills at home will REDUCE your anxiety. They do so by building up the other side of the anxiety. And once they are relatively EQUAL to the strength of anxiety, the anxiety will vanish. And once you get to that level, the idea of "practice" will be self sustaining. Talking to interesting people and making them laugh and smile is IMMEDIATELY rewarding. Playing the scales over and over and over and over again, not so much. The trick is to practice these social skills AT HOME, until the anxiety is gone, and then practicing with other people will be natural, easy and INSTANTLY rewarding. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/