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Showing results for tags 'congruence'.
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov26Post.mp4 One big fear that is associated with using any new language technology is being "caught." We all have a deeply programmed instinct to not steal from others. Any ancient race of humans who thought it was A-OK to steal from your buddies didn't last long. So, evolution gave us all a two-sided instinct when it comes from outright theft. An internal side and an external side. The external side is a healthy fear of repercussions. We might want the thing, but we don't want the angry guy who's thing we stole coming after us. But we also have an internal resistance. This two sided instinct kept ancient humans in tight social cohesion. But in modern times, a lot of things "feel" like stealing, when they really aren't. Like once a buddy of mine and I were at the grocery store. He bought a drink, and after he got his change he realized he got the wrong flavor. The checker said that it was OK to go back into store and swap it out with the one he wanted. He did, and on the way back, he said, half jokingly: "I feel like I'm stealing!" Since he'd grabbed something off the shelf and was "sort of" walking out without paying. This anti-stealing instinct is closely associated with not lying. This is why it is very hard to lie to somebody's face. It takes a lot of energy to lie. You can see this in pretty much every movie about cops and bad guys and interrogations. That the idea of finally STOPPING the lie, and telling the truth is a HUGE relief. Some people even walk into the police station and confess. They would rather live inside of a cage than keep a lie in their mind. So, it's naturally when trying out any kind of persuasion or seduction "technology" to feel a little sketchy. As if you are lying. Which, in a sense, you are. If you are going TOO FAR with your frame. If you told somebody your name was different than it was, you'd feel funny. You present a "false" frame that is stronger than what it really is, it feels funny. There two ways around this. One is that frame strength is very much like muscle strength. Building it up takes time. So take your time. Go slowly and steadily, a little bit a time. The second idea is that people often WANT to be deceived. Not conned out of their money or virginity. But deceived in an pleasing way. People pay good money to see stage magicians. People spend tons of money on super hero movies. Even silly jokes are made up stories that couldn't possibly be true. So, when you use language technology to make people FEEL GOOD, even if you are pretending a little bit, you'll be fine. The BEST pretenders are the A-list actors who get paid millions per movie. Based on pure economics, pretending so that you make others laugh, feel good and have a good time, is very VALUABLE in the eyes of society. Get Going: https://mindpersuasion.teachable.com/p/party-hypnosis/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov09Post.mp4 Acting is an interesting job. Every year, tens of thousands of young people move to Hollywood. And many more have that as a dream. Why is a job as an actor so compelling? For one, it brings a ton of fame. Being famous is very, very compelling. You get tons of money. And you have tons of choice when it comes to romantic and sexual opportunities. But even deeper, being famous is like a drug. It's one thing for a couple people to look at you and give you positive attention. But having thousands of fans screaming how much they love you? That is a drug like no other. And the way to get that SEEMS easy. Acting is one thing that doesn't SEEM to require any kind of technical training. Plenty of actors were discovered while doing other things. The idea of memorizing some lines, and then saying them correctly sounds very easy. So from a deep, instinctive standpoint, the job of being an actor feels VERY compelling. You don't have to do very much. And you GET pretty much everything you could ever want. It's one thing to spend years in school learning some really hard STEM subject, only to make $50K a year. But memorize some easy to say lines, and get paid a few million? AND be adored by millions of people? That is a dream job! But here's the thing. Many actors absolutely SUCK. Watch any lame streaming movie and it will be filled with no-name actors that can't act to save their lives. The MAIN skill of being an actor is being CONGRUENT. Of saying something that's NOT TRUE but saying it so it's believable. Groucho Marx talked about this. He said that the most important thing is sincerity. And if you can FAKE that, you've got it made! This is essentially the core skill that most top notch actors have. Of being able to FAKE sincerity. Of saying something that is not true, yet having a very STRONG and BELIEVABLE frame. Even if you don't want to be an actor, having a strong frame will make EVERYTHING easier. If you are in a social setting, having the strongest frame will make you the most attractive. If you are applying for a job, having the strongest frame will make you stand out the most. In nearly every case where technical skills are NOT required, having a strong frame is BETTER than having a weak frame. How do you BUILD a strong frame? Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/verbal-assassin/
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Anti Anxiety Nightmare: https://mindpersuasion.com/anti-anxiety-nightmare/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov05Loop.mp4
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https://mindpersuasion.com/hidden-brokenness/
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There's a common tendency to think that we need the right words. We have an idea of what we want, and we focus on having some kind of conversation to make it happen. Any time this involves other people that can say "yes" or "no" to our ideas, this creates a lot of anxiety. If you know anything about therapy, there is something called a "presenting problem." This is the thing the patient SAYS they want to talk about. But it's never the REAL issue. The real issue is usually much deeper. Something they don't even know about. Experienced therapists know that in order to find that deep issue, they FIRST have to address the presenting problem. The thing up their on the surface. Once they get THAT dealt with, it's just matter of "allowing" the patient to discover, on their own, that the issue is much deeper. This is also the same structure of arguments within long standing relationships. It's NEVER about the toothpaste cap or the toilet seat. It's really about much deeper issues. Respect, validation, being taken for granted, boundary issues, etc. If you watch movies, you can tell right away whether it's a good movie or a bad movie. One clue it's a bad movie is the actors are horrible. Funny thing about acting is it's about MUCH MORE than just memorizing the right words. Anybody can remember a bunch of words. It's HOW you say them that's important. Whether you truly BELIEVE them. This makes the difference between A-list actors that make millions per movie, and struggling actors that you find on straight-to-streaming duds. The CONGRUENCE with which they deliver the lines. So when we tell ourselves we don't know what to "say" it's not the issue. Just like the fight isn't about the toothpaste cap. Or when the presenting problem isn't the real issue. When it comes to social situations, the real issue is that we are presenting ourselves. As much as we try to pretend, our energy is always out there. For all to see. With the right energy and congruence, the words you say don't matter. With the right energy and congruence, you could walk up and say hey, and you'd be in like Flynn. But with the wrong energy and a lack of congruence, you'd come across like those lame actors that are only on Netflix. How do you CHANGE your energy? Luckily, the energy you project is a collection of skills. Once upon a time, all A-list actors sucked just like everybody else. But they practiced. What skills? The one's you'll find in here: http://mindpersuasion.com/presence/
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The idea of being congruent is very compelling. It's also one of those words that can mean different things to different people. A related word is resonance. If you are a little kid on a swing, and you "resonate" the frequency of your legs to the natural frequency of the swing, you can get some pretty big oscillations. Of course, little kids DON'T think: "Let's see, first I'll need to do some trial and error testing to elicit the natural frequency of this swing. Then I'll use that as a feedback system and attempt to oscillate my legs at that same resonance frequency. If I'm successful, then theoretically I should create a maximum level of oscillation." They don't think. They just naturally swing their legs until they get higher and higher. And when they decide to jump out, they also DON'T think: "Ok, timing is critical. I need to exit this system at the simultaneous maximum of my oscillations while taking the cosine of my exit with respect to the ground to achieve a maximum of both vertical height and horizontal distance." They just leap out. This is how life is SUPPOSED to be. We aren't supposed to stand there and use calculus to plan every action. We are supposed to resonate naturally with the systems around is, and achieve a maximum amount of benefit for the minimum amount of effort. This is EXACTLY why kids love swinging on the swings, and jumping out. With very little effort, (swinging their legs back and forth) they can literally LAUNCH THEMSELVES up into the air. A temporary ESCAPE VELOCITY from the ground. But for some reason, when we grow up, we lose this ability. In fact, this natural "flow state" is so rare, it's considered a physiological and psychological anomaly. This is one of the drawbacks of living in a modern society. On one hand, we've got tons of cool stuff. But the cost for this is the TONS of data hitting our senses. So much it's VERY HARD to find that natural resonance that comes from being fully CONGRUENT with our nature. But if you were to find a local park and get on the swing set, you would remember how to have fun. That is, if you allowed yourself to. And with a little conscious thought and understanding, you can recalibrate your inner resonance system to the modern world. And reach that coveted flow state much more often. Learn How: Ego Taming
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A while ago I took an improv class. I thought it was going to be about how to tell jokes. But it was about something much deeper. See, when actors are up on stage (or in front of the camera), they've got to do two things which seem to be opposite. On the one hand, they have to repeat lines written by professional writers. But at the same time, they have to seem VERY "in the moment." This is not as easy as it seems. Just watch some of the bottom-of-the-barrel movies on any streaming service to see what I mean. When somebody can deliver the right lines but WITHOUT any emotional congruence, it's correctly labeled, "wooden." What did we learn in the improv class? How to interact with each other non-verbally. Words are really only about 5-10% of our communication. The rest is non-verbal. And two actors who have TONS of congruent energy between them are going to be much more believable that two actors just spitting out lines. This is true EVERYWHERE. Knowing what to say is just the tip of the ice berg. Not even the most important part. Much more important is the ENERGY beneath the words. The sum total of all of your unconscious behavior, which is an OUTER representation of your INNER state. And your INNER state is comprised of your beliefs, understandings, and how you see yourself compared to the rest of the world. Most importantly, whether you see yourself as a CAUSE or an EFFECT. Whether you radiate LEADER energy, or FOLLOWER energy. Because this energy that you are ALWAYS projecting is MUCH more important than your words. If you are walking across a room to start a conversation with somebody, they've ALREADY read your energy. When you first enter the room for a job interview, they've ALREADY read your energy. Most people don't notice this other than getting either a "positive" feeling about you or a "negative" feeling. When you radiate the energy that creates those positive feelings in others, what you say is a LOT LESS important. What IS that energy? Continue it on a spectrum. On one side is TOTAL LEADERSHIP. People LOVE this kind of energy. On the other side is TOTAL DEPENDENCE. Most people very much dislike this energy. (Unless it's coming from a very young biological child). The more LEADERSHIP energy you can project, the more people will naturally gravitate toward you, and want to be around you. Learn How: Cult Leader
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