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Showing results for tags 'congruence'.
Found 16 results
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Embrace Your Inner Suck: https://mindpersuasion.com/embrace-your-inner-suck/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
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The Most Attractive Personality: https://mindpersuasion.com/the-most-attractive-personality/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
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Eject Fakeness and Fear: https://mindpersuasion.com/eject-fakeness-and-fear/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
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The Stradivarius Seduction Pattern: https://mindpersuasion.com/the-stradivarius-seduction-pattern/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
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The Best Acting Role Ever: https://mindpersuasion.com/the-best-acting-role-ever/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov26Post.mp4 We silly humans have a hard time with cause and effect. Particularly when things are linked. But plenty of things can be mathematically linked, but have zero causality. A famous example is ice cream and sharks. During the summer, people eat more ice cream. During the summer, there are more shark attacks. So, you could create a positive correlation between the two. But, it would be silly that eating ice cream causes shark attacks. Like every time you bite into any kind of ice cream, some poor dude is getting bit into by a shark. Or if you're out swimming, and a shark bites off your leg, you'll respond with a telepathically sent impulse to get people to eat ice cream. But other things aren't so obvious. In the previous example, it's easy to see the common thing. The same thing, the heat of the summer, causing both things. But often this third element is hidden. Or even more complicated, there are WAY more elements. Consider the common advice of "being yourself." We are "ourselves" with close friends. With new people, most people take a while to "be themselves." Both nice guys, and guys who study and practice "game" are PURPOSELY not being themselves. Nice guys assume that if they be "nice," they'll be "entitled" to some kind of reward. This is kind of subconscious, as they really BELIEVE that is their natural behavior. Guys who practice game are purposely and deliberately not being themselves. But what about naturals? Consider that naturals ARE naturals because they feel confident being themselves around EVERYBODY. They stroll up to pretty ladies and ARE their true selves right off the bat. But if you only see the surface, you'll create "game" based on their behaviors and communication. That is missing the point. Kind of like thinking that ice cream sales drive shark attacks. For naturals, it's not their actual actions, it's their CONGRUENCE that is so attractive. Juts like little kids. Everybody likes little kids because they aren't being "fake" nice or running some kind of game. When they are happy they let everybody know they are happy. Consider this cause-effect paradox. The ultimate goal for any guy or gal looking for action is to get the point where you can express your real self. They can express their real self. And you both like each other's real self. THEN you have sex. And AFTER sex, you both experience that post orgasmic "after glow." But what if you could create that "after glow" but BEFORE you even speak to them. How could this be possible? Consider that finding somebody who gets and appreciates us, AND wants to have sex with us creates some very POWERFUL emotions. And those emotions drive that mutual gaze of love. But what if you could CREATE those emotions ON YOUR OWN? And share them with ANYBODY you wanted? How would THAT affect your social life? Learn How: https://mindperusasion.com/seductive-eye-contact/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept22Post.mp4 TV salesman are very charismatic, and very entertaining. One example is the guy from "Halt and Catch Fire." A fictionalized drama about the beginnings of the computer age. PC's, internet, web browsers, back when all that stuff was invented. But the main character that was the sales type was VERY stereotypically charismatic. When he spoke, he had tons of confidence, and unbreakable frame, and he spoke in very well calibrated, very beutiful metaphors. Similarly, fictional seducers are either one of two types. The over the top womanizer jerk. And the flowery speaking, gorgeous metaphor spinning Don Juan type. A good example of this is Johnny Depp in "Don Juan DeMarco." But this is fiction. These characters are written by people who have never seduced or sold anything to anybody. We like those characters because they are the IDEAL. Things everybody would LIKE to become. Consider this to be a main function of our brain. A survival function. Since all the way back before time, we've been telling each other stories. Stories about IDEAL characters who do IDEAL things. Sure, we'd love to have real role models. Father figures whose footsteps we can follow it. But that's the genius of Mother Nature, or God or whoever made us. If we don't HAVE role models, we can make them up. Ancient stories were calibrated to match what we believed were our IDEAL role models. Young people who didn't know what they were doing. Having to stumble around for a while before they figured out what was what. And when they finally battle against the monster, the BARELY win. This is the IDEAL to strive for. Unfortunately, most of us miss the point when we see those smooth talking TV people. Consider the most important thing about their characters is NOT the words they say. Because plenty of well-written words are said by some pretty bad actors. This is why memorizing patterns for both sales and seduction MISSES the point. If you don't have the underlying frame, you'll be like a wooden actor trying to pretend to be congruent. Some of the BEST actors don't need words. They are VERY congruent in their facial expressions. How their facial expressions change upon nearing negative news, for example, is much more moving than a well written speech. Actors who can do that have skills few can match. Of feeling one emotion and then slowly shifting their facial expression to show another. If the rest of the story is set up correctly, a small shift in facial expressions at the right point of the story can make audiences WEEP. Words are nice, but not necessary. Build up the stuff beneath the words and NEVER worry about the words again. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-mindset/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept19Post.mp4 Very few human decisions are logical. Most people very much like to believe we are logical, but those same people would struggle in a class in formal logic. At the same time, ALL of our decisions are based ON logic. What the heck does this even mean? Logic is a structure to handle inputs and outputs. If X is greater than 3, and Y = 2, then X is greater than Y. Logic is based on conditional statements. But when you are hungry and standing at the all you can eat buffet, you may not think you are choosing logically. When, in fact, you are. Only most of the "if then" stuff happens in your subconscious. This happens rather quickly. You and your conscious brain are kind of glancing back and forth across all the different stuff. Your VAST memory and HUGE imagination is calculating ALL the costs and benefits of the various things. When your subconscious makes a decision, it will send a signal to your brain. "Let's get that one!" The reason everybody thinks everybody ELSE is illogical is that we make ASSUMPTIONS about all those costs and benefits. Here's a really goofy example. Suppose a friend of yours got a hold of some really bad weed. And it made him hallucinate SO strongly, he believed the hallucinations were real. And your poor friend saw some demons coming at him. And he BELIEVED that if the demons caught him, they'd drag him to hell and torture him for ETERNITY. But for some reason (something about the bad weed) the demons would disappear if he banged his head against a brick wall and made himself pass out. Since making yourself pass out is LESS horrifying than being tortured for eternity by demons, that would be the LOGICAL choice. But unless you knew all of this, he would seem crazy. You should just see your friend screaming, and bang his head into a wall and make himself pass out. NO WAY would you assume he was acting logically. Now consider THIS idea. Everybody is acting logically ALL THE TIME. But we and they won't ever really know their SUBCONSCIOUS inputs, outputs, and costs and benefits. This is why YOUR rational arguments are almost ALWAYS going to fail, since you have NO IDEA what their subjective and mostly subconscious variables are. So, ditch the logic. And speak to their unconscious. There's ONE TRAIT that will trump pretty much every other trait. If you have this trait, you or your message will be SO COMPELLING, you won't have to worry about anything else. This trait will make bosses, strangers, potential lovers and even ANIMALS want to get on your team. Because this trait is ANCIENT. Even older than our conscious, self aware minds. If you work in this trait (which you can, privately in your mind, whenever you want) nothing else can compare. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-mindset/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept14Post.mp4 There are a lot of harsh truths in life we don't like. In fact, we don't like these truths so much, we pretend they don't even exist. Sometimes, these are blatant and conscious. So our avoidance of these is blatant and conscious. Like you get a letter in the mail from your bank. You're afraid to open it. You might look at your balance and find you owe the bank a few thousand dollars. Egads! But sometimes our fears are so deep we don't even know they exist. And we layer a ton of self deceptive based rationalizations top of them. A very common structure is the sour grapes response. A guy tries to grow some grapes, and he sucks. He looks over this fence into his neighbhors yard, and sees some very big, very plump grapes. Since he doesn't want to admit he sucks at growing grapes and his idiot neighbor doesn't, he makes up a story. That his neighbhors grapes are SOUR. So, whenever you look at something, you want it, but you can't get it, and you reframe that thing as being BAD, rather than something you desire but can't get, this is the sour grapes response. And modern men and modern women are super, super guilty of this when looking out into the dating market. Men think women suck. Women think men suck. Maybe this is true, maybe this isn't. But guess what? If you're a guy, having tons of women who WANT YOU and are actively pursuing you, this makes it much easier. If you working under the "beggars can't be choosers" model, this DOES suck. But if you are living from an "abundance" mindset, it doesn't matter if most men or most women suck balls. Since most will actively PURSUE you, you can simply skim off the top. Leave the leftovers for the rest of the beggars and sour grape haters. Now, the money question. How do you DEVELOP this abundance mindset? Structurally, it's pretty simple. Develop something EVERYBODY wants, but few people experience. Most people today are VERY fake. Everywhere you look, there are tons of people pretending to think and believe and do things that are only true up on the surface. But after just a little bit of conversation, you'll see the mismatch. Between their surface structure descriptions, and their deep beliefs. This is why most people do things that don't match with what they say. So when YOU come across with pure congruence, you will be very, very attractive to a great many people. Which means you'll have a MUCH BETTER chance of choosing somebody that actually isn't a trainwreck. All by simple daily exercises, that you can do on your own, to build up MASSIVE congruence. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-mindset/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov26Post.mp4 One big fear that is associated with using any new language technology is being "caught." We all have a deeply programmed instinct to not steal from others. Any ancient race of humans who thought it was A-OK to steal from your buddies didn't last long. So, evolution gave us all a two-sided instinct when it comes from outright theft. An internal side and an external side. The external side is a healthy fear of repercussions. We might want the thing, but we don't want the angry guy who's thing we stole coming after us. But we also have an internal resistance. This two sided instinct kept ancient humans in tight social cohesion. But in modern times, a lot of things "feel" like stealing, when they really aren't. Like once a buddy of mine and I were at the grocery store. He bought a drink, and after he got his change he realized he got the wrong flavor. The checker said that it was OK to go back into store and swap it out with the one he wanted. He did, and on the way back, he said, half jokingly: "I feel like I'm stealing!" Since he'd grabbed something off the shelf and was "sort of" walking out without paying. This anti-stealing instinct is closely associated with not lying. This is why it is very hard to lie to somebody's face. It takes a lot of energy to lie. You can see this in pretty much every movie about cops and bad guys and interrogations. That the idea of finally STOPPING the lie, and telling the truth is a HUGE relief. Some people even walk into the police station and confess. They would rather live inside of a cage than keep a lie in their mind. So, it's naturally when trying out any kind of persuasion or seduction "technology" to feel a little sketchy. As if you are lying. Which, in a sense, you are. If you are going TOO FAR with your frame. If you told somebody your name was different than it was, you'd feel funny. You present a "false" frame that is stronger than what it really is, it feels funny. There two ways around this. One is that frame strength is very much like muscle strength. Building it up takes time. So take your time. Go slowly and steadily, a little bit a time. The second idea is that people often WANT to be deceived. Not conned out of their money or virginity. But deceived in an pleasing way. People pay good money to see stage magicians. People spend tons of money on super hero movies. Even silly jokes are made up stories that couldn't possibly be true. So, when you use language technology to make people FEEL GOOD, even if you are pretending a little bit, you'll be fine. The BEST pretenders are the A-list actors who get paid millions per movie. Based on pure economics, pretending so that you make others laugh, feel good and have a good time, is very VALUABLE in the eyes of society. Get Going: https://mindpersuasion.teachable.com/p/party-hypnosis/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov09Post.mp4 Acting is an interesting job. Every year, tens of thousands of young people move to Hollywood. And many more have that as a dream. Why is a job as an actor so compelling? For one, it brings a ton of fame. Being famous is very, very compelling. You get tons of money. And you have tons of choice when it comes to romantic and sexual opportunities. But even deeper, being famous is like a drug. It's one thing for a couple people to look at you and give you positive attention. But having thousands of fans screaming how much they love you? That is a drug like no other. And the way to get that SEEMS easy. Acting is one thing that doesn't SEEM to require any kind of technical training. Plenty of actors were discovered while doing other things. The idea of memorizing some lines, and then saying them correctly sounds very easy. So from a deep, instinctive standpoint, the job of being an actor feels VERY compelling. You don't have to do very much. And you GET pretty much everything you could ever want. It's one thing to spend years in school learning some really hard STEM subject, only to make $50K a year. But memorize some easy to say lines, and get paid a few million? AND be adored by millions of people? That is a dream job! But here's the thing. Many actors absolutely SUCK. Watch any lame streaming movie and it will be filled with no-name actors that can't act to save their lives. The MAIN skill of being an actor is being CONGRUENT. Of saying something that's NOT TRUE but saying it so it's believable. Groucho Marx talked about this. He said that the most important thing is sincerity. And if you can FAKE that, you've got it made! This is essentially the core skill that most top notch actors have. Of being able to FAKE sincerity. Of saying something that is not true, yet having a very STRONG and BELIEVABLE frame. Even if you don't want to be an actor, having a strong frame will make EVERYTHING easier. If you are in a social setting, having the strongest frame will make you the most attractive. If you are applying for a job, having the strongest frame will make you stand out the most. In nearly every case where technical skills are NOT required, having a strong frame is BETTER than having a weak frame. How do you BUILD a strong frame? Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/verbal-assassin/
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Anti Anxiety Nightmare: https://mindpersuasion.com/anti-anxiety-nightmare/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov05Loop.mp4
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https://mindpersuasion.com/hidden-brokenness/
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There's a common tendency to think that we need the right words. We have an idea of what we want, and we focus on having some kind of conversation to make it happen. Any time this involves other people that can say "yes" or "no" to our ideas, this creates a lot of anxiety. If you know anything about therapy, there is something called a "presenting problem." This is the thing the patient SAYS they want to talk about. But it's never the REAL issue. The real issue is usually much deeper. Something they don't even know about. Experienced therapists know that in order to find that deep issue, they FIRST have to address the presenting problem. The thing up their on the surface. Once they get THAT dealt with, it's just matter of "allowing" the patient to discover, on their own, that the issue is much deeper. This is also the same structure of arguments within long standing relationships. It's NEVER about the toothpaste cap or the toilet seat. It's really about much deeper issues. Respect, validation, being taken for granted, boundary issues, etc. If you watch movies, you can tell right away whether it's a good movie or a bad movie. One clue it's a bad movie is the actors are horrible. Funny thing about acting is it's about MUCH MORE than just memorizing the right words. Anybody can remember a bunch of words. It's HOW you say them that's important. Whether you truly BELIEVE them. This makes the difference between A-list actors that make millions per movie, and struggling actors that you find on straight-to-streaming duds. The CONGRUENCE with which they deliver the lines. So when we tell ourselves we don't know what to "say" it's not the issue. Just like the fight isn't about the toothpaste cap. Or when the presenting problem isn't the real issue. When it comes to social situations, the real issue is that we are presenting ourselves. As much as we try to pretend, our energy is always out there. For all to see. With the right energy and congruence, the words you say don't matter. With the right energy and congruence, you could walk up and say hey, and you'd be in like Flynn. But with the wrong energy and a lack of congruence, you'd come across like those lame actors that are only on Netflix. How do you CHANGE your energy? Luckily, the energy you project is a collection of skills. Once upon a time, all A-list actors sucked just like everybody else. But they practiced. What skills? The one's you'll find in here: http://mindpersuasion.com/presence/
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The idea of being congruent is very compelling. It's also one of those words that can mean different things to different people. A related word is resonance. If you are a little kid on a swing, and you "resonate" the frequency of your legs to the natural frequency of the swing, you can get some pretty big oscillations. Of course, little kids DON'T think: "Let's see, first I'll need to do some trial and error testing to elicit the natural frequency of this swing. Then I'll use that as a feedback system and attempt to oscillate my legs at that same resonance frequency. If I'm successful, then theoretically I should create a maximum level of oscillation." They don't think. They just naturally swing their legs until they get higher and higher. And when they decide to jump out, they also DON'T think: "Ok, timing is critical. I need to exit this system at the simultaneous maximum of my oscillations while taking the cosine of my exit with respect to the ground to achieve a maximum of both vertical height and horizontal distance." They just leap out. This is how life is SUPPOSED to be. We aren't supposed to stand there and use calculus to plan every action. We are supposed to resonate naturally with the systems around is, and achieve a maximum amount of benefit for the minimum amount of effort. This is EXACTLY why kids love swinging on the swings, and jumping out. With very little effort, (swinging their legs back and forth) they can literally LAUNCH THEMSELVES up into the air. A temporary ESCAPE VELOCITY from the ground. But for some reason, when we grow up, we lose this ability. In fact, this natural "flow state" is so rare, it's considered a physiological and psychological anomaly. This is one of the drawbacks of living in a modern society. On one hand, we've got tons of cool stuff. But the cost for this is the TONS of data hitting our senses. So much it's VERY HARD to find that natural resonance that comes from being fully CONGRUENT with our nature. But if you were to find a local park and get on the swing set, you would remember how to have fun. That is, if you allowed yourself to. And with a little conscious thought and understanding, you can recalibrate your inner resonance system to the modern world. And reach that coveted flow state much more often. Learn How: Ego Taming
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A while ago I took an improv class. I thought it was going to be about how to tell jokes. But it was about something much deeper. See, when actors are up on stage (or in front of the camera), they've got to do two things which seem to be opposite. On the one hand, they have to repeat lines written by professional writers. But at the same time, they have to seem VERY "in the moment." This is not as easy as it seems. Just watch some of the bottom-of-the-barrel movies on any streaming service to see what I mean. When somebody can deliver the right lines but WITHOUT any emotional congruence, it's correctly labeled, "wooden." What did we learn in the improv class? How to interact with each other non-verbally. Words are really only about 5-10% of our communication. The rest is non-verbal. And two actors who have TONS of congruent energy between them are going to be much more believable that two actors just spitting out lines. This is true EVERYWHERE. Knowing what to say is just the tip of the ice berg. Not even the most important part. Much more important is the ENERGY beneath the words. The sum total of all of your unconscious behavior, which is an OUTER representation of your INNER state. And your INNER state is comprised of your beliefs, understandings, and how you see yourself compared to the rest of the world. Most importantly, whether you see yourself as a CAUSE or an EFFECT. Whether you radiate LEADER energy, or FOLLOWER energy. Because this energy that you are ALWAYS projecting is MUCH more important than your words. If you are walking across a room to start a conversation with somebody, they've ALREADY read your energy. When you first enter the room for a job interview, they've ALREADY read your energy. Most people don't notice this other than getting either a "positive" feeling about you or a "negative" feeling. When you radiate the energy that creates those positive feelings in others, what you say is a LOT LESS important. What IS that energy? Continue it on a spectrum. On one side is TOTAL LEADERSHIP. People LOVE this kind of energy. On the other side is TOTAL DEPENDENCE. Most people very much dislike this energy. (Unless it's coming from a very young biological child). The more LEADERSHIP energy you can project, the more people will naturally gravitate toward you, and want to be around you. Learn How: Cult Leader
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