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Found 43 results

  1. Having the wrong metaphor can ruin everything. Most everything we perceive is done through metaphors. Our brains have only evolved to really make sense of macro physics. Apples falling from trees, etc. But our brains are also capable of creating and interpreting hallucinations as if they are real. This is how we come up with mythology and other incredible stories. All from looking up at the sky and imagining that the stars are people. As soon as we imagine they are people, we start making up stories about how they interact. Used "correctly" these stories can inspire us and motivate us. Used "incorrectly" we might not stay alive very long. For example, if ALL you did was beseech the gods for healthy crops, you'd die. On the other hand, if you beseeched the gods AND did the job of tilling the soil, planting the seeds, and doing the daily work of making sure everything grew correctly, you'd have a much better chance. The first case would be an OVER-DEPENDENCE on a metaphor. The second case is when you use the metaphor as MOTIVATION or INSPIRATION, but not in place of doing the actual work necessary. We have a lot of metaphors in our daily lives. One of the most dangerous one is to think in terms of perfection. Or to have an objection that is TOO HIGH compared to our level of skills. For example, if you'd been practicing the piano for a couple of weeks, it would be a huge mistake to think you were ready to perform. But this is something we do all the time. We READ something, and think that reading about something is the same as PRACTICING that same thing. For some reason, we think that reading is the same as practicing certain skills. Mostly social skills. We read a book, or have an idea about what we want conversationally. But then we go out and fall on our faces. We are frustrated, but ONLY because we had expectations that were ABOVE our level of skill. If you have your expectations in congruence with your skills, you won't be frustrated. Things like social skills are ALWAYS in progress. Every single person you talk to is going to be a completely NEW experience. An UNEXPECTED experience, since you don't know them. So having an expectation based on a completely unknown situation is illogical. It's much better to dial back your expectations. And see every communication as ENJOYABLE practice. That way you'll eliminate frustration, and keep getting better. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  2. admin

    The Goldilocks Strategy

    There are two bad things that can happen if your level of skill is not correctly calibrated to your level of expectations. If you think you will get much more than your skills actually can, you'll develop a sense of entitlement. This can lead to a feeling that the world is rigged against you. You try something, expect to get a very good result, but only get a so-so result. But if you only have so-so skills, you should only get a so-so result. If you have so-so skills but expect amazing results, you'll feel cheated. The more you try, the more cheated you'll feel. This will lead you to EXTERNALIZE your frustration. This doesn't lead to an improvement of skills. Since you don't think you NEED to improve your skills. You'll develop a belief that the world is broken. The other side of mis-calibration is just as bad. If your skills are HIGHER than your expectations. You have FANTASTIC skills but you only believe you have so-so skills. This will lead you to getting results ABOVE what you think you should. This generally leads to self-sabotage. You purposely mess up so your results match what you expect. But since what you expect is BELOW what you can actually get, you keep getting good results, but then messing them up. Like they say in the Kinks song: "You get a good thing going and you blow yourself out." Of course, having an expectation that is based on your actual skills is best. It MINIMIZES frustration and MAXIMIZES growth. When this is properly calibrated, EVERYTHING will feel like doing something simple like shooting baskets. Since the basket is right in front of you, it's hard to NOT match your understanding of your skills to your results. This can be difficult to accept, especially with social skills. But if you were to measure the actual RESULTS you were getting, and used your results as the ONLY MEASUREMENT of your skills, you could improve much more quickly. Especially if you could break down all the micro-skills and practice them independently. Kind of like in sports or music. So long as you have an accurate read of your skills, and an understanding of all the micro skills and have to practice them, continuous improvement is easy and automatic. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  3. Archimedes is a famous old school scientist. One of the things he's famous for is running down the street naked. Not the naked part, but what caused his excitement. The king was worried that somebody was scamming him. He'd paid to have a gold crown made. But he wasn't sure if it was gold or copper or a mix. And since way back then (ancient Greece) they really had no way of knowing. So he gave Archimedes the task of figuring out how. And as a scientist, he put his mind to work while he did normal things. And when he got into his bathtub, he saw the water rise as he got in. This was the famous, "Eureka!" moment. When he figured out how to solve the king's problem. By putting various things in water, you could measure their volume. With weight AND volume, you would figure out the density. Since gold and copper have different densities, he could quickly figure out of the king's crown was pure gold or not. He was so excited he ran down the street naked. Another famous thing associated with Archimedes is his work on levers. He famously said, "Give me a lever long enough, and I can move the world." Lever, of course is the operational part of the word "leverage." We can easily translate his statement to mean, "Give me enough leverage and I can do anything." Whoever has the most leverage in any negotiation, for example, will generally get their way. But leverage also works inside your brain. Our body has plenty of two-sided systems. Awake and asleep. Excited and relaxed. Sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. Desire and fear. Most of the time we have a desire, but that desire is overshadowed by fear. Because fear is a survival instinct, it's usually much more powerful than it's counterpart. Which means you've got to be pretty sure things are safe before you go charging ahead. One way to kill fear is with knowledge. This is why we can enjoy scary movies. We KNOW they are fake. We KNOW that really isn't a ghost, or a demon. Another way we can leverage knowledge is by killing the "I don't know what to say" anxiety that keeps us out of conversations. Because if you are reading this, then you have TONS of information up in your. And because of the structure of your brain, you can pretty much link any idea to any other idea. This means with a little practice, you'll NEVER "not" know what to say. In fact, with enough practice, the amount of data you feel up in your brain will OVERWHELM any anxiety. The practice is easy and can be done safely at home. The more you do, the more data you'll re-discover, and the more leverage you'll have in ANY conversation. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  4. The body comes with a lot of systems that compliment one another. For example, there is part of our system that excites us, and gets us ready for action. And there is an equal and opposite part that calms us down, and gets us ready to relax and recharge. Very much like night and day. Two seemingly opposite sides of the same system. When you eat, it's common to become sleepy. It's kind of a shift from being outwardly focused and excited, to inwardly focused and relaxed. We can imagine how it might have helped our ancient ancestors. When they were hungry, this spurred them to action. To go looking for food. Once they had found food and had eaten, they got sleepy, so their bodies could digest the food. You'll find these sympathetic systems everywhere. A lot of half to do with what we think and how we think. For example, a common sticking point for having relaxing conversations is not knowing what to say. At its extreme, it KEEPS US from even starting a conversation. But it also pops up in the middle. Unexpectedly. You could be having a friendly conversation and then out of nowhere, your brain freezes. Those uncomfortable and awkward silences can RUIN an otherwise decent conversation. Luckily, there's a relatively easy solution. And that is to TRAIN your brain to think laterally. Meaning you can do some simple exercises to practice the "art" of thinking of tangential topics. That way you can keep conversations going a LONG time. The truth is there is TONS of information ALREADY in your brain. And unless you are having a conversation in a Soviet Prison with gray concrete walls, there are TONS of things going on around you. So you've got tons of info OUTSIDE your brain, and you've got tons of info INSIDE your brain. All you've got to do is practice making connections. This exercise is very much like physical exercise. You won't get much benefit if you only do it once or twice. But it only takes a few minutes. And if you get into the habit of doing it DAILY, you'll soon be a conversational powerhouse. This ONE exercise can build up the brain skills to use the EXISTING information in your brain, and become a conversational POWERHOUSE. Even if you suffer some social anxiety, this will soon overcome that. Once you have plenty of stuff to talk about, that KEEPS COMING without you needing to think, this data itself will overwhelm any anxiety you have. This will make your ideas seem so big, they almost get out of your head on their own. Overpowering any social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  5. admin

    A Silly Boxing Metaphor

    Imagine if you took a seminar on boxing. And it was NOT a "hands on seminar." It was pure theory. How to punch at what angle and strength. Imagine some of the questions. "So, if I'm halfway through the eighth round, and he comes at me with a roundhouse from the left, with a plane angle of 22 degrees, but with only 78% strength, what's the best defensive move in that condition?" And imagine if the instructor actually answered. If he had a powerful computer and generated the precise punch in question, and then demonstrated the defensive move that would be maximally successful. And imagine all the would-be boxers writing down the angles and drawing diagrams on their notes. Expecting to be in the middle of a fight and actually remember the correct angles and punch strengths, etc. Pretty silly, right? Obviously. Even couch potatoes who would NEVER get into the ring see this as impossible. People who would NEVER get into the ring, know that to practice boxing, you have to box. Not only box, but practice all the different moves. Anybody who's seen any movie or TV show that even has a scene inside of a boxing gym knows this. They know that a boxing match is very fluid. All sports are fluid. All decisions are made in the moment. And mostly unconsciously. You respond and react in the blink of an eye. In fact, the whole idea of corner manager giving his boxer tips in between rounds verifies this. The boxer is SO "in the moment," he needs to be told consciously what's happening. Where his opponent is weak, where he might have an advantage, etc. So the whole seminar idea with boxing is goofy. Yet that his how we learn about communication. The idea that we can plan BEFORE HAND what to say, or how to respond of somebody says something is AS ridiculous as thinking you can do that in a boxing match. Of course, most of the time we are communicating, we AREN'T trying to hurt each other. But conversations are JUST as spontaneous as boxing matches. They are JUST as dependent on intuition as boxing matches. They require us to be JUST as "in the moment" as in a boxing match. And as luck would have it, we can prepare for conversations JUST like boxers prepare for boxing matches. Most of the preparation happens OUTSIDE the ring. The training, the calisthenics, the techniques, etc. Turns out there are JUST AS MANY ways to improve your conversational skills that DON'T require you actually be in a conversation. All these techniques, on their own, are very safe, very easy, and very simple. But when you put them together, they will make you a powerhouse communicator. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  6. One very common excuse for NOT starting a conversation with somebody is that you don't know what to say. This makes complete sense. It feels natural. You are standing there, maybe even getting positive signals. It doesn't even have to be a big deal. It could just be a random conversation with a random person. Not for any reason other than to pass the time. But since you CAN'T think of something to say, you don't say anything. Again, this makes perfect sense. But it's also an absolutely false idea. The idea you need to think of something to say BEFORE you start a conversation. Sure, you need to BREAK THE ICE. But breaking the ice and saying something interesting are two completely different things. In fact, the more of an interesting and witty thing you say, the LESS LIKELY you'll get a proper response. The opposite is also true. The EASIER the thing is that you say first, the easier it will be for them to response. Now, in SOME situations, this isn't true. If a super gorgeous woman is sitting on her throne in the corner of the club, and dude after dude is approaching her, THAT is when you need to come with a powerful opener. But every other time, SIMPLER is always better. But even MORE important than what you say, is HOW you feel underneath. Less than 10% of communication is verbal. So if you say something that is really, really, simple, but you have SOLID energy underneath, that will "work" incredibly well. What, exactly does "work" mean? Think of it like a sales letter. How are sales letters written? Like a slippery slope. The PURPOSE for each sentence is to get you to read the next sentence. Sales letters DON'T start with a powerful close. So when you start a conversation, and you sound like you are trying to close, you'll come across like a sleazy sales person. Instead, think of every conversation you have like a sales letter. Everything you say has the purpose of getting them MORE interested in the conversation. So the EASIER you start off, the better. The LESS you worry about the words, the better. The MORE you build up positive, NATURAL energy, the better. Guess which sales letters are the VERY BEST? The ones that are selling very HIGH QUALITY products. The kinds of products that sell themselves. These products are EASY to sell. When the words don't really matter at all. When you build up your genuine personality, the words you say will also not matter much. Because YOU will be the product that sells itself. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  7. Sometimes when you meet somebody you just click. This is usually thought to be a very rare, once in a lifetime experience. First dates that were scheduled for an hour but lasted all night. People that you meet, have a conversation with that go on for hours. One of the ways that illustrates how we think about things is how we use nouns. All things are nouns. But some nouns are real things, and some nouns are imaginary things. One way to tell a real thing from an imaginary thing is the wheelbarrow test. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow, it's real thing. (You might need a pretty big wheelbarrow..) If you CAN'T put it in a wheelbarrow, it's NOT a real thing. It is an intangible thing. One specific TYPE of intangible thing is a nominalization. These are nouns made from verbs. Like "communicate" is a verb. Communication is a noun made from the verb. But that noun, "communication," is NOT a real thing. It fails the wheelbarrow test. How we humans think about these things is illustrated by how we use those things in a sentence. The main clue is the prepositions we use with those things. For example, think of the intangible noun, "trouble." How do we think of that? As a container. How do we know it's a container. Because we are "IN" trouble. We are IN containers. Another container, which is the OPPOSITE of trouble is love. That is another thing we are IN. But HOW we get in love is also interesting. We FALL in love. It happens unexpectedly. This goes back to those conversations we have with others where we unexpectedly CLICK. Why, specifically does that happen? We push each others buttons. When you click with somebody you are pushing their pleasure buttons. And when you push their pleasure buttons, it makes them behave in a way that pushes YOUR pleasure buttons. Because our pleasure buttons, and how we behave when our pleasure buttons are pushed, are both functions of our personality, the trick is to FIND SOMEBODY that has enough overlap. There are a couple ways to INCREASE the likelihood of this happening. One is to simply meet more people. The more people you meet, the more chances you'll have. Another is to study human communication. To be more consciously aware of how to notice and how to consciously push peoples buttons. This works very well, but it takes time. Another is to build a more attractive personality. So just by showing up you will AUTOMATICALLY push other people's pleasure buttons. Mostly with your subconscious, non-verbal communication. Which means they will ALL naturally want to push YOUR pleasure buttons. All you'll need to do then is pick the best one. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  8. admin

    Personality Halo Effect

    It's a pretty common idea that sex sells. Put a gorgeous model next to a toaster, and you'll sell more toasters. How this works isn't really understand. Mainly because most people don't think about these things. They're too busy thinking about the model. A common misunderstanding is that there's an implied relationship between the toaster and the model. This is more pronounced when models or sexy ladies are used to promote cars and alcohol. The idea being that the car or the brand of beer will lend itself to "girl getting lifestyles." This is false. It's much more subconscious. The sexy models invokes certain unconscious feelings. In both men and women. Those unconscious feelings of attraction and desires are then attached to the product. This is essentially the halo effect. When a sexy lady is standing next to a toaster, her sexy "aura" is also kind of surrounding the toaster. But this is an incorrect metaphor. The "aura" isn't coming from her. It's coming from the OBSERVER. The observer sees the sexy girl, and the OBSERVER creates a strong feeling of desire. And that "desire" energy that is pointing at the sexy girl ALSO hits the toaster. But if a normal person looks at a sexy girl, and there isn't a toaster, whatever she is saying or doing will also be hit by the OBSERVER's "desire energy." So when sexy people talk, the stuff they are saying is elevated just like the stuff that sexy people sell is elevated. Only it happens organically, so nobody really notices. But the thing about the halo effect is it's really shallow, and short lived. It only works on stuff that doesn't matter so much. A sexy girl on TV next to a car might get you into the shop, but it will take a lot for you to buy the car. A sexy girl talking on YouTube might hold your interest. But studies show again and again that when we choose more important things, the halo effect is worth less and less. This is why it's not such a big deal if you aren't one of the genetically blessed, pretty people. Because you can build up a halo effect associated with your personality. And unlike physical appearance, where there's only so much you can do, you can increase and enhance your personality as much as you want. So much that after just a few moments of interaction, YOU will be much more compelling that any genetically blessed pretty person. And the MORE they interact with you, the MORE they'll be attracted. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  9. Long time ago I used to sell cars. It was fun, but also a pain. A pain because the hours sucked, and most of the time you were standing up. The cool part was negotiating with customers face to face. Especially if they enjoyed the process as much as the sales person. Even before I ever got into sales, I loved to haggle. And in any sales job where haggling is involved, there are ALWAYS going to be strategies. Some people, that sell their own stuff from their own shop, know the VERY BEST sales strategy. It's intuitive and natural. And that is to be selling the VERY BEST product available. For people who learn persuasion to sell other people's stuff (which is 99.9% of sales people) it's all about techniques. Building value, adding on ideas like scarcity, social proof, commitment and consistence, etc. For most sales people, they have an idea of a product FIRST, and then try to add all those other persuasion ideas SECOND. Then they try and frame the message so those persuasion ideas are a CAUSE and the EFFECT is the desire to buy the product. People that make and sell their own stuff discover the opposite usually happens. In fact, those that have been making and selling their own stuff for a long know that is the IDEAL. That the product quality is a CAUSE, and all the persuasion ideas (social proof, scarcity, etc.) are an EFFECT. The product quality CAUSES social proof. The product quality and demand CAUSES scarcity. The social proof combined with scarcity CAUSES the very powerful FOMO, the fear of missing out. A valuable product that is popular is therefore scarce. And it will soon be GONE. Once any customer realizes this, FOMO causes an INSANE amount of internally generated buying pressure. This is one of the most repeatable, demonstrable, COVETED combination of scenarios that ad men have known about for CENTURIES. If you can create an ORGANIC feeling of FOMO around any idea, it will sell like CRAZY. FOMO is behind ALL market bubbles. And YOU can leverage FOMO to YOUR benefit. How? By realizing that YOU are the product. By levering all those ideas with YOUR PRESENCE. To generate such a strong and positive presence that just showing up will generate a MASSIVE amount of FOMO. Around YOU. And the idea of you. This means that EVERYBODY will want you. Everybody will want to be part of whatever you are part of. And because that deep feeling of FOMO will follow you everywhere, people will be inspired to ACT NOW. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
  10. The most important part of humans is our brain. Our ability to think and plan creatively is what made us dominate the planet. Our brain was SO valuable that we pretty much evolved everything else AROUND our big brains. Kind of like every ancient civilization formed around rivers. Jericho, for example, the world's OLDEST city, had a natural spring that continued to gush up water. Other cities formed around springs died up as soon as the water did. Cities mean people and a lot of farmland, and that requires a lot of continuous water. Sometimes, though, this is a double edged sword. Civilizations that sprung up around rivers had the benefit of the water from the river. But the river also allowed an easy way for enemies to attack the city. Our brains are kind of the way. Tons of benefits, but plenty of costs. Naturally, we wouldn't be here if the benefits DIDN'T outweigh the costs, but there are costs nonetheless. What are the main costs of our big brain? Our brain is WAY too big for us to be born even CLOSE to being fully formed. Which means we have a TONS of instincts, but also TONS of learning potential. We can think of our learning capacity like "programmable instincts." If you train something ENOUGH, to the point of unconscious competence, it's very much like having a NEW set of instincts. Some of these things are easy. Like riding a bike. Other things take a lot of time. Some things are trained in by our environment. Other things we train into ourselves. But with a little bit of understanding and patience, you can train things into other people. This happens all the time anyway. Because most of the stuff we learn from our environment is from other people. As humans are highly social creatures, our environment is nearly always a bunch of other people. When you purposely train things into other people, you're taking what we do NATURALLY, and doing it deliberately. This is essentially the story of human progress. Seeing what happens naturally, and then augmenting it for our benefit. Just like ancient humans learned to train the land (their environment) to provide specific types of food. You can train your friends (your environment) to provide specific types of behavior. Or even strangers. There are short term training methods, for bartenders and waitresses. And longer term training methods, for friends, business associates, and potential lovers. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/people-training/
  11. Status is something that is important, but often misunderstood. We tend to think of status as something that has obvious indicators. Wealth, bling, clothing, hanging out with the cool kids. But the status that is REALLY important is the kind that is very subconscious. And always present. It’s quite possible for people to have high artificial status, but very low real status. Especially in our jacked up economy. People that are wealthy, for example, have all the external “signals” of status but none of the subconscious energy. On the other hand, it’s very possible to have REAL status, but not much of the signals. No expensive clothes, or bling, or a big house in the hills. What’s the difference? Way back in the day, before society was invented, before money was invented, status was closely related to leadership. And it was also closely related to productivity. Productivity being the guy who could kill the biggest animal. One way to think of it as ancient societies like football teams. The quarterback was the guy who led the tribe on the hunt. That’s the same guy that got all the girls. And people turned to in times of trouble. This is REAL status. Today, when there are TONS of ways to make money, you can have plenty of FAKE status but NONE of the personality of an ancient leader. But we are JUST AS sensitive to those ancient status signals as we used to be. They put a bunch of people in a room, for example, and give them a task. INVARIABLY, they automatically sort into a hierarchy. And the guy or gal who ends up on top is the one with the strongest “leadership energy.” A mix of confidence, openness and a general feeling of “I’ve got this.” The kind of energy people NATURALLY turn to when nobody knows what to do. Even if you are a billionaire CEO of a tech startup, if you’re stuck in an elevator, you could be just as clueless as everybody else. In that situation, genuine, natural leadership is the one that wins. A short-hand name for that energy is “frame strength.” The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the go-to guy or gal when nobody knows what to do. The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the most attractive person in the room. The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the most persuasive or seductive (if they want) without needing to do much speaking. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who you are) it’s easy to make a ton of money today WITHOUT a strong frame. But when push comes to shove, people will prefer FRAME over fake status every single time. Which means if YOU get busy building a strong frame, you’ll be the one they prefer. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  12. There is a very critical transition humans should make. Not really “should,” by it is an important transition. It is from the childhood mindset, to the adult mindset. Children have a very simple strategy to get what they need. They keep asking until they get it. Adults can only get away with this so much. If you are a very attractive female, you can use this strategy for a long time. But if you are a normal looking human, and don’t have much of a halo-effect going for you, then getting what you need is going to require some effort. Most of the time this involves learning skills, getting a job, and trading your time for money. Then you take that money and buy what you want. What you want is made by other people all playing the same game. Learning skills and making things (or helping make things) and selling those to other people to get money to buy what you need. So long as what you want or need can be bought, you’re OK. But what about the stuff that CAN’T be bought? Like friendship, love, respect, loyalty, companionship, affection? You can’t buy those things. Nor can you get those with the childhood mindset of asking and waiting for somebody to GIVE those to you. (Unless you have as massive halo effect going for you). When it comes to getting tangible stuff, the idea of TRADE is obvious. You first trade your time for money. Then you trade that money for whatever you want. (like a big box of frozen burritos, for example) But that other stuff, the stuff that CAN’T be bought, that falls under the model of trade as well. But the “stuff” we are “trading” is intangible. When you are in a relationship with somebody, for example, it works so long as both parties are RECEIVING something intangible and GIVING something intangible. Normally this happens automatically and subconsciously. But if you’ve ever been in a relationship (friendship or romantic) where YOU are doing all the giving and the other person is just “using you,” it feels pretty crummy. This is when relationships tend to burn out and end. When you want something tangible, it’s a matter or figuring out how to get the cash to buy it. But what about intangible things that you want, but don’t have? You can’t exactly go shopping for a new relationship. Those just “happen,” right? Turns out you CAN make them “happen” a lot more quickly and dependably. Because you CAN increase what you have to offer. Because there’s ONE THING that EVERYBODY wants. One thing that EVERYBODY will respond favorably to. And because this ONE THING will provide tons of subconscious and emotional value to them, they will respond by GIVING YOU whatever they’ve got. What IS this ONE THING? Learn About It Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  13. admin

    Inter-Frame Chaos Theory

    Chaos theory is a pretty interesting concept. It states that despite living in a deterministic universe, we can’t predict things very far into the future. This has nothing to do with the accuracy of the measuring equipment, nor does it have anything to do with Quantum Physics. They figured this out when they started looking at computerized weather modeling. Even though weather has only a few variables, it’s impossible to predict. They took a starting point, and let it run a few weeks in computer time. They end point was a certain weather system. Then they took that SAME starting point, and altered it as slightly as they could, and let it run for the same few weeks. The results were COMPLETELY different. It turns out the longer out you need to predict, the more accurately you need to measure the staring conditions. The problem is when you compare the two. If you want to increase the time, by say twice as long (from two weeks to four weeks) you need to make the measurement TEN TIMES as accurate. If you want to go out eight weeks, you need to increase the accuracy of measuring the starting conditions by 100 times. This is why they will NEVER be able to predict weather more than a few days out. No matter how much technology they invent, they’ll never be able to do it. This is how they get the idea of the Butterfly Effect. Small changes can lead to HUGE results. A butterfly flaps his wings in Brazil, and causes a hurricane in Texas two weeks later. When most people show up to a social situation, they hope for the best. Most people have a very vague idea of what they want. But the problem is that everybody is ALWAYS communication. No matter WHO you are, you are always sending and receiving TONS of non-verbal signals. This means you are impacting their frames, and their frames are impacting your frames. And since most people have VERY WEAK frames, you end up with a Junior High School dance phenomenon. Girls on one side, boys on the other. Both looking and wishing they could communicate. Of course, in modern places, it’s not so simple. It’s actually MUCH WORSE. Every person and their own crew is like an island among many islands. All wanting to communicate, but all being afraid to get it going. And when you consider the chaos theory as it applies to inter-frame communication, it makes sense. But it’s also VERY EASY to dominate. Because if one person has frame strength that is significantly stronger than everybody else’s, everybody will know it. And everybody will know that everybody knows it. And everybody will soon being competing with everybody to be part of that frame strength. And if YOU happen to the be THE ONE with that frame strength, then you’ve got it made. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  14. A very enlightening study was done once on body language. They had a bunch of people walk through social situations. Bars, clubs, etc., where meeting and talking to strangers would be appropriate. They followed these people with researchers. They’d flash the pictures around and ask if anybody had seen them. They’d they ask for a first impression rating, on a scale of 1-10. “See this guy? Yeah? OK, real quick, how would you rate him?” Like that. The people giving the rankings would only have a very BRIEF memory of seeing the person. And they would use that brief memory to come up with their score. They reason they were doing the test was to see what impact posture had on their ratings. Meaning they would walk through places with two different postures. One unconfident, with head down, shoulder slumped forward. Another confident, with back straight, face forward, and shoulders back. Everything else was the same. Their clothing, their bling, their haircut, their cologne, their physical appearance. Simply by changing their posture, the average increase was two full points. This is only by a very obvious change. Add into this the idea that NON-VERBAL communication is more than 90% of communication. And the idea that we can’t NOT communicate. So even if you are in conversation with somebody, and words are going back and forth, the words comprise LESS THAN 10% of the message. And when somebody is checking you out from across the room, your non-verbal body language is 100% of the message. Whether you are being checked out, or if you are a conversation, the sum total of your NON-VERBAL communication can be called your FRAME. Your inner state comes out through your frame. The sum total of your non-verbal communication. Naturally, the stronger your frame, the more attractive you’ll be. People naturally gravitate to people with strong and attractive frames. In fact, people crave a strong-framed person so much, they follow gurus and cult leaders. Even when the CONTENT of their frame is absolutely insane. Imagine what you could do with a strong frame that has some pretty normal content? Luckily, building up the strength of your frame is just as simple as building up muscle strength or endurance. It’s not quick or magical, but with consistent effort, you’ll get consistent results. Building a strong frame is one those things that will make EVERYTHING do you so much more compelling. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  15. For many people, setting goals presents a paradox. One of the things we humans LOVE is a bright, yet undetermined future. As soon as we define the future, it becomes much less compelling. Imagine you’ve got a job. And your are 100% sure that in one year, you will get a raise of 50%. The boss says you’ve got to do some things, but you are 100% certain you will do those things. So you are 100% certain that within one year, you will get a 50% raise. At first it would be pretty cool. But as the days go on, it would seem less cool and more normal. If you’re like most normal people, by the time you got that raise, you would have already spent the money. At least mentally. Unfortunately, this is how they teach us how to set goals. To create a SPECIFIC target. At a specific time. Even when we KNOW (from the above example) we are getting that thing in the future, it naturally diminishes our desire for it. Now take that SAME idea, of a KNOWN thing coming at a KNOWN time, from KNOWN behaviors, and adding uncertainty to it. The idea of putting in some behaviors that you AREN’T sure will create that goal will make it LESS compelling than if it were real. Another is what happens if you SET a goal, but you CAN’T get it? Imagine guy who dreams of making a lot of money. But he never gets around to getting started. Since he hasn’t really started, he can still reasonably believe that if he DID start, he MIGHT actually make some more money. This is a NICE thought to think. But if he actually STARTS doing things, and realizes it’s MUCH HARDER than he realizes, this might KILL that vague thought of money in the future. The idea of having vague goals that you never get started on is actually VERY RATIONAL. Doing something that has a large chance of DECREASING your happiness is NOT rational. Luckily, there is a MUCH EASIER way. A way that doesn’t require that you EVER define your goals. That you keep them vague and FAR OFF in the future. So no matter how much progress you make, they will always be OUT THERE, pulling you forward. This makes it MUCH EASIER to try different things. If you have a specific goal that is supposed to happen at a specific time, and you try something and it doesn’t work, that can cause PANIC. You start to worry that you can’t meet your own deadline. Egads! On the other hand, if you have a vague but compelling goal that is ALWAYS a year from now, (whenever NOW happens to be) anything you do will get you closer. At the very least, you’ll get more information. This is the BEST WAY to create the actual feeling of outcome independence. So each individual interaction will be much easier. And your frame will be much stronger. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/ Till next time, George Hutton
  16. Here’s a cool exercise you can do with a friend. Have them tell three lies but pretend they are telling the truth. Then have them tell three truths, and act like they are telling the truth. This will let you calibrate their “truth” energy and their “lie” energy. Energy, of course, means the sum total of all their facial expressions, micro-movements and voice tone. Too much to perceive consciously. But if you are relaxed enough (why it’s good to do this with a friend) then you can “feel” the difference. It’s kind of subconscious to subconscious communication. Nothing magical or mystical. But when we pick up things subconsciously, instead of getting actual thoughts and data, we get feelings. And since most of the time our feelings are a mix of a ton of random stuff, it’s VERY NOISY. But when you do this lie-detector experiment with a friend, with practice you can get a clearly identifiable, “lie energy” feeling when your friend lies. The trick is to then have your friend tell you a mix of lies and truths where ONLY THEY know which is a lie and which is the truth. If you CALIBRATE correctly, you’ll be able to tell. And usually it seems VERY OBVIOUS. If you are VERY SNEAKY, you can do this without them knowing. Get them to say something that you know is a lie, but they think you believe it’s true. This may take some time, and you’ll have to be creative. But once you CALIBRATE their “lie energy” they’ll never be able to lie to you again. This is essentially what people do when they play poker. They watch the other players VERY CAREFULLY. And they remember the stuff they do when they are bluffing. Later, they call these “tells.” This is also why poker players wear baseball hats and sunglasses. To hide their tells. All this is an indication of how we are ALWAYS sending and receiving information. Most of us are sending a whole jumble of mixed signals. Most of us are focused inward (worry, anxiety, etc) as much as we are focused outward. This is why it seems to mysterious when you do the lie detector exercise with a friend. But there’s another cool way to use this idea. And that is to practice radiating a specific emotion. Something positive and enjoyable. First, you’ll need to practice this at home. So when you radiate that emotion, it is strong, pure, and congruent. Then go out in public and radiate that SAME emotional “frame.” The results are fantastic. Because EVERYBDOY will not only notice, but they will VERY MUCH enjoy YOUR frame. Much more than their own. People will be naturally attracted to you. They’ll make up excuses to be physically near you. They’ll make up excuses to start conversations with you. And that’s just the beginning. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  17. admin

    Nothing Extra In ESP

    Symphonies have a much richer sound that single instruments. Single instruments can product a rhythm, or a melody, or a chord progression. But most can only do one at a time. Some instruments are more capable than others. On a piano, for example, you can play chords with your left hand, and melodies with your right. But most instruments can only play one note at once. The best violinist can only play single notes at a time. Compared to a quartet, which could play a much deeper and richer sound. People are like instruments. And we can be either single note instruments, or entire orchestras. When we communicate with each other only on a superficial, surface level, it’s like two kids whistling at each other. When we communicate on a deep and complete level, it’s like an entire orchestra. But this is where the metaphor breaks down. Music is a one way street. It comes FROM the instruments and goes TO our ears. Even so, it can be indescribably beautiful. Imagine what two people communicating on all levels can do. This takes a lot of courage. Because in order to send and receive on all levels, you have to be able to accept and appreciate yourself on all levels. But once you can do that, something extraordinary will happen. Like an orchestra, you’ll be able to SEND on all levels. Most will only be able to pick it up subconsciously. But you will seem to be MUCH DIFFERENT than anybody else. The flip side is also the case. You’ll be able to RECEIVE on all levels as well. Meaning you’ll be able to understand people on a level that nobody else can understand them. And since you’ll be able to receive as well as send, this will give you incredible insights. This is the kind of perception that seems “extra-sensory.” But that is kind of a misnomer. Since all things can ONLY go through your regular senses. But since the things you’ll be capable of sending and receiving through those same five senses, it won’t really be “extra sensory.” It will only be perceived as such. And since this is primarily based on how well you are open to YOUR OWN levels of being, you can practice and enhance this skill whenever you want. Safely in your own home, in your own brain. Until you’re ready. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cold-reading/
  18. Humans existed a very long time before language was invented. We send a ton of information subconsciously. Less than 10% of our communication is the actual words we use. Most of our communication, even with people we don’t know, is non verbal. One of the main problems of being a human today is the technology of society (and society itself) evolves WAY faster than human nature. Because the world we live in is SO chaotic, it’s very hard to notice the MASSIVE amount of non-verbal signals. There is one “class” of people who are EXPERT body language readers. Even though these people have regular jobs, and a lot of importance, they are MUCH BETTER at reading body language than everybody else. In fact, the BULK of their success depends on it. Who are they? Not cops. Not CIA agents. Not poker players. But Secret Service agents. Plenty of studies demonstrate this. And it makes perfect sense. Their job rests on their ability to scan a crowd and pick up small, non-verbal “tells” that indicate danger. It’s much more complicated than the movies, where they have to wait until they SEE a gun, and then shout, “Gun!” If they showed the way they REALLY operate in the movies, it would be REALLY boring. Since they notice things nobody else does. Which means the people in the movie theater wouldn’t notice. This is a GREAT WAY to practice cold reading. Sit some place with a lot of people. Watch people as much as you can, without drawing attention to yourself. Pick somebody close by, and put them in your peripheral vision. Then start to “free note.” This is when you write as QUICKLY as you can, without pausing to even think about the words or the grammar. The idea is to RE-TRAIN your natural ability to “pick up” as much information from others as possible. Practice this enough, and you’ll be able to “read people” like an expert. Even BETTER than secret service. The secret service are HYPER-SENSITIVE to threats. But they ignore everything else. Train yourself so you can pick up a little bit of EVERYTHING. Then if you decide to talk to anybody, you’ll have an EXTREMELY accurate idea of not only their state of mind, but what they are thinking. If you deliver this through vague, hypnotic language, you’ll be perceived as having super powers of perception. But it will REALLY be “re-discovered” powers of perception. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cold-reading/
  19. One of the most animated conversations I’ve ever had was with a deaf girl on the streets of Bangkok. She was working at a stall selling souvenirs, and we were haggling over the price of something. It’s one thing trying to communicate with somebody who doesn’t speak your language. It’s something else to speak to somebody’s who’s deaf in another language. Strangely enough, talking to her was much EASIER than trying to communicate with another non-English speaking Thai. When you are used to using words to communicate, and you suddenly don’t have any words (e.g. you are trying to talk to somebody in a different language) it’s pretty difficult. But this woman was INCREDIBLY articulate. She knew how to use the precise facial expressions (exaggerated, of course, since we were haggling over price) gestures, etc. It was, without question, one of the more memorable interactions I’ve ever had. She’d type a number in the calculator, show it to me, and I’d go through all kinds of theatrics trying to get her to come down in price. Then she’d type in a number into the calculator, and do the same, trying to get me to come up in price. With only gestures and facial expressions, she was able to convey what you’d expect from a street vendor. I’ve got a family to feed, I have to make a little profit, I’m really giving you a better deal than I’m giving everybody else because I like you, etc. Because she was a much more advanced haggler, the price we agreed upon was much closer to HER price than MY price. We humans have ideas inside our heads. And we struggle to put words to those ideas. And we hear ideas from other, that they also struggle to put words to. Using words, which we imagine to be precise and accurate, it actually makes it VERY DIFFICULT to get ideas out of our heads and into their heads. Using ONLY WORDS, it’s very difficult to understand the ideas in their heads if we ONLY pay attention to their words. Which is why when you FORGET about the words, and pay attention to body language, non-verbal energy and the situation, you’ll gain TONS more information than words can ever express. This takes time and practice. But once you get to THIS level of communication, you can identify deep thought structures and patterns that they themselves would have trouble describing. This will make YOU stand out in their mind for a LONG TIME. Just like I still remember that girl from Bangkok. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cold-reading/
  20. Cause and effect is a very squirrely concept. One of the “proofs” that something is wrong is if it creates “causal chains.” Meaning if A causes B, and then B causes C, and then C causes A, that’s not possible according to basic physics. Contrary to movie science fiction, they use proofs like this to show that time travel is really impossible. It’s not allowed according to General Relativity. But even so, they STILL don’t quite understand “why” time moves forward. Time moving forward is HIGHLY connected to the idea of cause and effect. Since effects MUST come after causes. But even in our monkey brains, we often confuse the two. You’ve likely hear the familiar statement, “Correlation doesn’t imply causation.” The reason people say this so much is because we confuse the two so much. My alarm clock goes off at the same time the sun rises. They are highly correlated. But one doesn’t CAUSE the other. Somewhere, way back in our evolution, we were programmed with a “better safe than sorry” mechanism in our brain. So even if we are WRONG most of the time, it still was evolutionarily beneficial to ASSUME a cause-effect relationship. This is why the famous “because” study works. A lady was standing in line to make copies. She said let me cut in line. Everybody said, “no.” Then she gave a reason, and used the magic word “because.” Every time you throw in a “because” it makes the cause-effect circuits in our brain go nuts. She first said, “Please let me cut in line BECAUSE my car is parked in the red.” And most people said OK. But then she said, “Let me cut in line, BECAUSE I need to make copies.” People STILL let her cut in line. Being able to leverage cause and effect is a VERY POWERFUL mental magic trick. And when you combine this with the ability to read their body language, facial expressions, and their situation, you’ll seem like a WIZARD. You will KNOW what they are thinking. And you can show them that BECAUSE they are thinking that, they will have a FANTASTIC future. This will cement a couple of POWERFUL ideas in their mind. One is you have telepathic powers. Two is they’ll truly believe their future is going to be AWESOME. And three they’ll remember YOU forever. It takes a bit of practice to learn how to do this, but when you do it will be EXTREMELY powerful. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cold-reading/
  21. Some of the deadliest or most dangerous ideas are the ones that seem the safest. For example, there’s the idea of our comfort zone. By definition, inside is safe, outside is dangerous. So it makes sense to stay inside. At least in the short term. But the longer you stay inside, the harder it is to go outside. This goes way beyond simple things like social skills. Since the dawn of time humans have been oscillating between safety and catastrophe. We stay as safe for as long as we possibly can. Then something FORCES us to move. And that “thing” is so dangerous and potentially deadly we have to invent new ways of dealing with it. But then that creates whole different level of safety. And the cycle repeats. Sometimes that results in evolutionary bottlenecks. When only a few of any species survives. That means the new “inventions” to deal with the threat are genetic responses. The structure is similar, whether it is over the course of a couple years, or a couple hundred thousand. The longer you remain safely inside your comfort zone, the harder it will be to go outside. Another seemingly safe thing to do in the short term that can be deadly in the long term is confirmation bias. Especially when it comes to the people we hang out with. Confirmation bias makes us hang out with the people that have the same opinions, ideas, tastes and beliefs. Pretty soon we start to think that we are “right” and everybody else is “wrong.” One fantastic habit to get into is simply meeting people outside your comfort zone. This be as simple as having a very simple conversation with people you normally deal with. Co workers, waiters, retail staff, etc. Just exchanging a few common pleasantries will go a long ways in making your comfort zone get a lot bigger. One critically important skill is being able to have a conversation with an interesting stranger when the opportunity presents itself. After all, any relationship, be it business, friendship, or romance will be with somebody that starts off as a stranger. And if you’re “having simple conversations with strangers” skills are lacking, why not practice them? The better you build THAT skill, the more people you can meet. The more people you meet, the more relationships (of all kinds) you can create. There are plenty of ways to start as easily as you can, so you can grow your comfort zone as comfortably as you can. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/lovers/
  22. Deep within us are ancient instincts. Everything we want satisfies one of these instincts. One way to describe them would be in terms of Maslow’s famous hierarchy. At the bottom is basic stuff like food and sex and staying out of the rain. On top are esoteric and undefinable things like “self actualization.” But no matter how you get self actualized, or how long you stay there, you still gotta eat. And if you stay outside in the elements too long, you will die. Even if you DO become self-actualized, it happens inside your biological body. And your biological body comes with urges that keep you from dying. Urges like eating when you are hungry, having sex when you have a willing partner. Running away from an animal that wants to eat you. After all, if a hungry predator sees you meditation, it doesn’t really care if you are self actualized or not. I’m sure from a predator’s standpoint, a self-actualized human tastes just as good as a non-self actualized human. Putting esoteric ideas aside, all of our biological urges, which were given to us to help us stay alive, were “calibrated” during a much different environment that the one we live in now. This is the reason why so many people are overweight. Having the “eat all you can whenever you can” instinct was PERFECT way back in the day. Today, not so much. This is also why relationships are so frikking confusing these days. Our “relationship instincts” were calibrated in a MUCH DIFFERENT environment than we live in. One way is how we deal with “opportunity cost.” Opportunity cost is an economic term that means when you buy X, for a certain amount of money, you CAN’T buy anything else. IF you buy a cheeseburger, you CAN’T buy a burrito with that same money. When this comes to dating, it works the same way. If you are IN a relationship with person X, you CAN’T be in a relationship with everybody else. Way back in the day this wasn’t a big deal. But today, with a kajillion pretty faces bombarding us every single second, it is very much a big deal. But since our deep instincts are still the same, AND our instincts tend to rule our actions, they must be addressed. The good news is if you learn how to do that, your relationships will be much easier and much more rewarding. It will take time, but consider putting in the effort. Because creating very healthy relationship with a compatible person is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things about being human. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/lovers/
  23. admin

    Easy And Organic Lovers

    One of the secrets of human nature is that we are all human. And despite how different we feel on the inside, we are all very similar. It’s just that our deep dreams, fears, and desires are something that we RARELY share. So we think ours are different. But they really aren’t. If we all had fundamentally different internal wants and needs and fears, it would be impossible for any inventor to be successful. If we all had DIFFERENT internal desires, no ONE invention or idea (or book or song or movie) would be popular to many people. This means that as a human, you have secret inside information. About how other humans think and feel. But if you come at them with advice, it won’t work. All inventions, for example, work because people can CHOOSE to buy them or not buy them. If an inventor tried to be successful by showing on people’s doorstep, forcing himself in their homes, he wouldn’t be nearly as successful. One way to create connections with others is by looking for similarities. Not surface structure similarities, as in the same taste in TV or music, but in structural similarities. This means you have to think in terms of structure. Of how you perceive and describe your experience. And how you can elicit their experience. This takes a little bit of effort. It’s much more detailed than memorizing some lines. But will create much deeper, and much more powerful connections. And since you’ll be creating a two-way connection, you can actually tell if they are compatible or not. One mistake that is common is to create a deep connection, and only THEN start to wonder if you are compatible or not. But by making connections based on structural similarities, rather than superficial surface similarities, it’s much more enjoyable. And it’s much easier. Since when you communicate like this with everybody, and it becomes who you are, the process is much more organic. Since everything will be happening naturally and organically, it won’t feel nearly as nervous. The best part is you can practice this communication style with non-romantic interests, and nobody will know. But sooner or later, real romantic interests will make it VERY EASY on you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/lovers/
  24. One of the biggest transitions to make in life is from child to adult. The childhood model to the adult model. The childhood model says that there are some things that are out of our control, and it’s somebody else’s responsibility to provide those things for us. The adult model says it’s completely our responsibility to get our needs met. The more adult you can be, the more resourceful you’ll be. The more you stay in the childhood model, the more dependent you’ll be on others. Of course, many people don’t like this idea. Not one bit. People in power LOVE the childhood model. That’s the MAIN REASON for their power. “Put me in charge and I’ll make sure you get your needs met.” This can work fine, for some things. But other things REQUIRE we force ourselves into the adult mindset. Whenever we are dealing with one-on-one relationships of any kind, the worst thing we can do is retreat into the childhood mindset, where we think we are ENTITLED to something from the other person. This is different from clearly stated agreements and contracts. On a fundamental level, a feeling of emotional entitlement is VERY unattractive. Especially coming from an adult. But most folks these days have some form of this “energy.” Shaking it seems hard. Impossible even. But on the OTHER SIDE of that is immense power. Once you fully embrace your responsibility, especially within romantic relationships, you can create anything you like. This takes time and patience. And you’ll have to release any fantasy of magic “just happening.” But once you embrace your own responsible “creator,” you can create. Creating is much better than sitting around waiting for something to happen. Imagine two scenarios. Both take place in the same location. A location with plenty of attractive people you’d LOVE to get together with, for whatever reason. Situation one is where you gaze out over the crowd, feeling powerless and “hoping” something will “happen.” Situation two is when you feel powerful and are deciding which person with whom you’ll MAKE something happen. Feeling total confidence that it will work just as you want it to. Which situation would you prefer? Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/lovers/