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Positive Feedback Loops

Peyton Dracco



Sales people, at least the more successful ones, know the importance of establishing a positive connection with their potential clients (the people they are trying to persuade into buying their product). There are many ways to build rapport and connect with other people. Some are complex and others simple, however, they invariably demand proper performance form the person communicating the desire to connect - this is to say that these techniques need to be delivered properly to be effective - common sense, it would seem.


Nevertheless, from best selling (influence and persuasion) authors to internet con-artists continue to ignore or willfully neglect to mention the importance of performance to convincing others. But this is as far as I will go into in this post: I may touch on it again in the future.


The technique I want to talk about here, is often referred to as a Yes Set, or a Yes Ladder, and while I would call it a Positive Feedback Loop, there is no need to assign a specific label for a tool that may be called differently by different people.




A positive feedback loop is a technique that, when used correctly (I appeal to the need for good performance again), can render those you are trying to influence, more compliant; or make it more likely that they will say yes to your requests.


It appears when I speak to people about these techniques that some points require clarification. Please understand that there are not magic formulas that work on their on, or that require no understanding of context and social behaviour. It is important to remember that you will not get everything you want, whenever you want it simply by reciting a script, and if someone is trying to sell you on that idea, give them the full extent of your middle finger and walk away. What these techniques do is help you build a context in which you are more likely to get what you want: how likely this is depends upon your ability to perform the technique well, and your proper observation of the circumstances surrounding your interactions.


And there I go digressing again...




1. Ensure you have built some level of rapport with the person you're trying to persuade. Remember that underlying principles of these techniques, like all social behaviour, do not exist in a vacuum.


2. Ask the person a number of question that may get positive feedback from them. I feel that three questions or request work well - any more may have the person feel as if they are being interviewed or interrogated, and therefore uncomfortable.


(a) It is advisable to begin this technique with a reference to something that affects the person's immediate experience - I usually inject the weather or the traffic if I feel that either of these are pertinent to time.


(B) Follow the first reference by asking something that is more relevant to the persons general life-experience. Ask about their family, or their background. I sometime touch on their ethnicity if aspects of their being are accessible to me at the time of the conversation.


© Request a physical action from them; ask them to move somewhere else and offer a reasonable cause for this suggestion: perhaps you can hear each other better if you move.


NOTE: You can begin to test the strength of your loops at this point by initiating the physical action without a verbal cue. If they follow your gestural cue validate their behaviour by agreeing with them verbally.



3. Make the request to which you need a positive reply.


Once again I need to motion the important of performance of these steps. Work these questions and request into a fluid conversation. Remember that you want the other person to be comfortable to want to say yes to your requests. There are times when you may want to push the lines of comfort but that is also dependent of the context of your interaction with the individual you are attempting to persuade. And if you're wanting to get everything you want, whenever you want it... you may be in for disappointment.


I hope this helps.


If you like to learn more about persuasion give my new YouTube channel a visit: http://www.youtube.com/c/Peytondracco


Take care.


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